.kristin.

.moving day.

2009-12-07T23:03:00.003-07:00

I have an announcement!

A merge is taking place between my two blogs. So I have to say a sad goodbye to this wonderful blog and direct you now to my new one. Please follow me to http://www.kristinbrownphotography.com/ to continue our dialogue.

I have put some serious thought into this merge and I finally decided that I didn't want my photography life and my personal life to be separate. I want to share my photography with those interested in my personal life and my personal life with those interested in my photography. (So if you only wanted one or the other... sorry. It's my blog so I can do whatever I want.)

Plus, I stress out way more with two blogs to keep updated.

I really want my two blogs to collide into something that is still true to me (I don't feel like my photography blog has been really ME yet, you know??) but mainly focuses on my photography. And since photography has pretty much taken over my personal life, it's only natural for me to write about it all together.

I have been putting this off for some reason, though. And tonight, when I went to write this post, I hesitated. It sounds stupid, but I really do love this blog. I love that it chronicles the path my life has taken these last two years. I love that it shows how I've grown up and who I have become. I wrote some really stupid things, but I also think I wrote some pretty good and honest things. And I want to keep it all here, out in the open.

I want to let my new blog become truly mine: my style, my voice--really me. A lot like this one has, but even more so. I want to be honest and open and myself. I don't want it to be just about my pictures--I want it to be about me. This blog has shown my growing up; I think the new one will show me learning to be a grown-up.

And I'm kind of excited to see how that all goes....

So there you go.

That is that.

Goodbye kristinhoddenbach.blogspot.com.

I love you.

.i have.

2009-12-04T10:05:00.002-07:00

a busy weekend to plan
a tummyache
a broken straightener (that one I paid $100 for and the only thing that tames my hair)
a sparse Christmas tree to decorate
a desperate need to do laundry
groceries to buy
stress about gift-giving

AND...

officially been in a relationship with Kenny for one year (as of yesterday) :)

.monday.

2009-11-30T16:19:00.001-07:00

I feel like everybody is in a bad mood today. Including... me. Mondays after a holiday are never fun, I guess.

I had such a good weekend though. Exhausting in some ways, but really good. We drove a lot of miles and spent time with a lot of people. When we finally got home last night, I was too tired to do much of anything. So Kenny worked on his twelve page paper and I fell asleep. At 8:30.

And now it is Christmas! I have been so excited for the holidays this year--my first being married. Also, it is my first being super poor. So just a warning, to all who expect to receive gifts from me and Kenny... expect thoughtful, but definitely low-budget gifts. :) (Oh and while we're on the subject, does anyone know how I could get a MacBook for Kenny for like 90% off? I haven't had much luck yet.)

That's all for now. Tonight I'll unpack and look at what pictures I ended up with from the trip and maybe show you some tomorrow.

.i love.

2009-11-23T16:35:00.000-07:00

I feel a little bit emotional today. I am so grateful and happy for so many things (don't worry, this is not a Thanksgiving gratitude post :)). I just feel so good. I love everything about my life these days. Mostly I love being married to my wonderful husband. And I love our little home together. I even like that we are poor. And we have such wonderful friends. And a good ward. I love that we get to spend four whole days with people we love this week. I love that we don't have cancer or brain tumors. I love God. And I love that today I was reminded to be grateful for all my many many gifts.

That's all.

.marriage lesson #2.

2009-11-20T14:00:00.000-07:00

I think it is time for the next installment of my marriage lessons. This one is entitled: Overcoming Selfishness by Sharing. (I know, it sounds like a Primary lesson. This will be fun.)

A couple weeks ago, we were at that store I hate called Walmart walking down the cereal aisle, when suddenly, I spotted something I had not seen for ten years: Rice Krispies Treats Cereal. Not regular Rice Krispies, but Rice Krispies TREATS Cereal. In the purple box. I LOVE THAT CEREAL. I used to always want it when I was little, but it, along with Cookie Crisp, was one of those cereals that really isn't a good breakfast and is much too sugary and expensive for my mom to agree to buying it. But I'm a grown-up now, so I bought some.

Later that day... Kenny wanted some. And I really didn't want to share it. Even with the love of my life, I was hesistant to share my cereal. And I think it kind of hurt his feelings. So I said okay, but only out of guilt, not any real kindness.

I am really really bad at sharing and I have been my whole life. As a teenager, I would never share my clothes with my sister. I don't lend out my books very often because I don't trust people to treat them well. In college, I did not like sharing a room and I would NEVER share my food.

The real problem arises, however, when I have problems sharing with my own husband. Now this is something that I really need to work on. Because, you see, Kenny always has shared everything. He has no qualms about withholding anything of his from anybody. When he lived with roommates, it was a communal lifestyle--everything belongs to everyone.

But apparently, I am not that selfless.

So my lesson learned is simple--I should share my stuff. I think that God designed life in such a way that as we grow up, the objective is to become more selfless. As a child and teenager, even as a young adult, we are almost completely self-absorbed. Others take care of us and make sure we are on the right track and we don't have many responsibilities other than to ourselves.

But then we get married. And we have someone that we have some responsibilities to. And in order to have a healthy and successful relationship, we have to learn to sacrifice our own desires and some things that we want for the greater good of the marriage. And that's not the same thing as being weak or not standing up for yourself, which is what my mind tries to tell me sometimes.

After we have some marriage experience in overcoming our selfish natures, we have children. And heaven knows that most parents are the epitome of self-sacrificing for their children. Their lives become about raising and caring for another human being before themselves. This, more than almost anything else, teaches us about selflessness and love.

So... even if Kenny asks for my last chicken nugget, maybe I could just give it to him instead of shove it in my mouth anyway (that may or may not have actually happened...). It's not just about sharing--it's about selflessness. It's about wanting your spouse's happiness more than your own.

So this is what I know. Our happiness is most likely to come with selflessness and service to others, most importantly, our spouses and families. Those are the most important relationships we have. And if that means I have to learn how to share my stuff with my husband (even my food), I can do that.

Because I really do love him. :)

.kristin's food woes.

2009-11-19T13:03:00.000-07:00

So... I have this constant struggle in my life with food. My whole life I have been a picky eater, but these days, I don't like anything.

Sometimes I think I might become a vegetarian. Because I don't like beef. Or pork. Or ham. Or fish. Turkey is only okay, and I might eat an occasional chicken.

But then I don't like vegetables. Fruits are kind of tasty, but almost all fruits and vegetables make my mouth itch. Unless they're cooked, but then the squishiness grosses me out.

Dairy is hit and miss--I won't drink milk plain, cheese is good sparingly, and yogurt would be delicious if not for the texture. Oh and I hate when yogurt has chunks... chunks make me gag....

I do, however, like breads and pasta and rice. Pretty much all carbohydrates. Also donuts and cookies. Potatoes are okay. For Thanksgiving this year, I really only want my mom's rolls.

So what am I to do? I can't continue subsisting on only carbs my whole life, can I? This problem makes it difficult to be a good domestic wife, because how am I supposed to make meals and stuff out of food I don't like? Luckily, Kenny is a pretty good chef and he doesn't mind my domestic-less-ness. (He was sort of shocked a couple days ago when he found out that most wives make their husbands dinner every night.)

I heard once that tastebuds can be trained to certain tastes. Do you think that is true? I could train my tongue to tolerate things like tofu. (Oh, the alliteration!!) Maybe I should start on some sort of program where I slowly phase in new things.

Okay, I'm on it. It's my new project. Feel free to direct me to any delicious menu choices I may never have thought of (ones that use meat sparingly would be preferable) (and remember how I feel about my carbs). And might there be others of you out there that are food-weird like me? Maybe I'll share my recipes with you if you're nice.

I think I'll be brave and fancy and begin with this.

.things you'll never hear us say.

2009-11-17T16:46:00.000-07:00

Kenny:

When our friends come over tonight, instead of playing cards let's just all have a good chat.
Oh I don't need to buy this pen. I have plenty.
It's the middle of the night--I guess I don't need to go on my run today.
I don't need any more music.
We don't need to argue about this political issue. I don't like confrontation.
I think I better get that flu shot.
These jeans are too tight.
Let's live in Utah for the rest of our lives.
No, I'm not thirsty.
I really wish you wouldn't write about me on your blog.

Kristin:

What do you want for dinner tonight?
Kenny, let's play Blokus--I know you love that game.
Oh yay, it's winter!
I miss the good old days of being single.
Want to go to Walmart?
That's a cute baby, but I don't really want one.
Let's eat at In N Out.
I think I'll get those dishes done.
I want to watch Lord of the Rings tonight.
Do you want my last cookie?

.it's permanent.

2009-11-11T06:53:00.003-07:00

Over the weekend, Kenny and I stayed at a beautiful cabin in Bear Lake with some friends. This is the view out our window early Saturday morning:

It made me really miss Mexico.

That's beside the point.

The above image was taken with my amazing new camera, which I would like to use to take pictures of you. So don't forget to enter my contest here, which will be ending tomorrow when I randomly pick some winners. :)

Oh guess what? Today, after two-ish long months of indecision and communication difficulties, I finally am getting my new logo and ordering my business cards with the new branding on them. When I have business cards, that makes me a real live professional business lady right?

I know it seems like I can't talk about anything not photography-related. This is because (other than Kenny) photography has consumed my life lately. I spend all day every day thinking about it and getting business ideas and being inspired. I wish I could spend every minute that I'm not at work taking pictures, but stupid daylight savings time made it so all those minutes are dark. I'll take what I can get.

I'm just so indescribably happy that I found the thing I want to do with my life (second to wife-ing and mothering, of course). Everything about photography just excites me and I can't believe that I actually get to do this thing that I am so passionate about.

So if you are sick of hearing me ramble on about my love of it, you better stop reading my blog. Because more than ever, it is about to become a permanent, wonderful fixture of my life.

.something exciting.

2009-11-09T08:10:00.000-07:00

I have happy news on my photography blog that I would like you all to read. :) So click right here and leave me a comment so I don't feel like a big nerd at the end of the day!

Here is a hint of what it maybe possibly could be in reference to:

Thank you and have a nice day. :)

.bridals.

2009-11-07T08:00:00.002-07:00

I'm finally posting my bridals--it's a wedding week here on my blog, apparently. :)

I feel quite vain for putting all these photos of myself up, but my photographer never blogged any of my pictures and I always was so excited for that... it kind of makes you feel famous, you know?? So I'm posting them myself. Plus, I think she did a really good job on these and they should be seen. :) That is my justification for vanity.

Okay I like this photo because it shows my earrings, and I LOVED my earrings. (They were really expensive, but totally worth it.)

This photo might be my favorite of the whole session... I really really love it:

(photos by Blush)

.engagements.

2009-11-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

I can't quite remember a reason why I never posted our engagement photos or my bridals on here or Facebook, except for maybe lack of time during that crazy wedding-planning season. Plus I really don't like to be predictable, you know. :)

But all this reflecting I've been doing since we got our wedding pictures back reminded me that they need to be up for the world to see!

I loved our location--it was the perfect style for us:

We don't have very many good headshots, but this one made it into the announcement:

I love the colors in these ones:

One of Kenny's favorites:

This one is hung BIG in our living room:

This one will be printed one of these days:

My edit:

(photos taken by Brooke of Blush Photography)

.wedding vendors.

2009-11-05T08:00:00.002-07:00

I am finally writing the post I've been wanting to write for almost five months. (Whoa, I've been married for FIVE months?) This might be totally lame, but I've been wanting to do a little (okay, so it's a really long) review of all my wedding vendors and tell the world how good (or not good...) they were to work with.

I feel like after going through the whole process of planning a wedding, I sympathize with anyone who has to make all those really important decisions in so short a time. So I want to put everything I learned in one place here and maybe it will help some others who are planning a wedding. I don't want to bash anyone, but I really want to give credit to the people who did an amazing job for me and tell the truth about who didn't so others know what they are getting into. :)

Location: I got married in the beautiful Salt Lake temple (which was like the best decision EVER) and we decided to have our dinner and reception at the Lion House so everyone didn't have to drive all over the city. The whole plan was to have a sort of garden-themed reception and use the garden behind the Lion House, which is SO beautiful. Unfortunately... it POURED on my wedding day and we had to move the reception inside, which felt like the END OF THE WORLD on the actual day. I was pretty bummed about that, but it ended up working out okay. The people at the Lion House were wonderful to work with and made everything beautiful inside for us. I did insist, however, on having our first dance outside anyway, which was wonderful. :) My mom and I worked with Patty there throughout the whole thing and she was great.

The delicious brownies and snow cones at the reception:

(I really wanted to avoid the girls wearing pioneer dresses, but I had no choice on that one...)

Invitations: For my invitations, I used Square One Printing in Logan. I had talked to a few different designers and visited Jaffa Printing in Salt Lake but no one would do what I wanted them to--they all had template designs and wouldn't let me be creative. And the people at Jaffa were actually surprisingly unhelpful. So when I went to Square One and they told me they would do whatever I wanted them to, I was quite happy. And I can't say enough good things about them now. They were so nice and helpful and willing to do anything I asked them. Plus, the ending price was a LOT less than anywhere else I found. Basically, they are pretty much wonderful. :)

Here is our finished product, which I LOVED:

Dress: Okay, so I LOVED my wedding dress. I tried on at least 40 dresses (seriously, that is not an exaggeration...) and NOTHING was even close to what I wanted. After going to four stores, when I went to Avonlea Bridal, the store owner (who is wonderful) asked me if I had any ideas of what I wanted. I said, "I want something skinny through the body, I do NOT want a wide square neckline and I do NOT want the typical t-shirt sleeves of modest wedding dresses. It also must have lace and beading." (Really, that's not too much to ask, is it?) Then the woman said, "Oh, I have the perfect dress for you." And she took me back and showed me the wedding dress of my dreams. She only had one size in stock and she had just received it the week before. And of course, it fit me perfectly. That is because it was constructed in heaven and sent down by angels at the perfect time and place for me to find it. I did have to have someone fix the neckline because it was a little weird, but other than that... it was perfect.

Hair and Makeup: I went to Garden Day Spa in Bountiful for my hair and makeup for my wedding (and my bridals) and had a girl named Jessica do both. I was really happy with everything both times--especially because I had no idea what to do with my hair. I couldn't decide if I wanted up or down or something in between and what she came up with was perfect.

Flowers: I had no idea which direction to go for flowers, so the people at the Lion House directed me to Flowers Squared on Temple Square. The woman in charge there is named Colleen and she was great to work with. I knew I didn't want something traditional like roses and I knew I didn't want a normal bouquet. I wanted something a little more modern, but still beautiful and elegant. So she introduced me to the wonderful world of orchids and I loved what she came up with. Plus, all her centerpieces she made were AMAZING. I loved her.

I LOVE THE CENTERPIECES:

(this photo taken by my sister, Katie)

Cake: Oh here we go with the cake... I'll try really hard not to cry as I type this... just kidding. :) I had Barbara Wachs make my cake. Her company is called Exclusive Wedding Cakes and she has been doing it for 30 years. Again, I really didn't want something traditional, which is what she usually does, but I found an idea in a magazine I really loved and she did something pretty similar to it. I was SO excited about it.

But... upon delivery, something went wrong.... I still don't quite know the details, but let's just say the cake didn't quite make it. She told my mom that it was too tall and had sort of collapsed in the car for some reason, but I heard someone say that the real story is that she dropped or something as she carried it into the Lion House. When my mom told me what had happened (right as my reception was starting), I was pretty sad about it. I think they were able to still serve one layer of it or something, but I didn't get any of it. :( So I don't want to spread horrible things about Barbara, because she really is very nice and does a beautiful job, plus she said that had never happened to her before... but still. The bottom line is that she dropped my cake. And that is never okay. :)

(previous two photos by Katie)

Sad little top layer:

I like this next one... it gives you the illusion that it is the real cake. :)

Luckily, our videographer was able to get us a surrogate cake so we would at least have something to cut (more on that below):

Then the Lion House girls decorated it with some of our flowers. Here we are cutting it (it didn't taste very good though...):

Photography: Making a decision for my photographer was probably the most stressful decision I had to make when planning the wedding. Being a photographer myself, of course I had to pick the perfect and best photographer. I already had an idea of who I wanted, but I had to make sure I covered all my bases. I finally decided on Brooke Kinsey of Blush Photography. I think she is one of the best photographers in the state, especially for her prices. (If she were better at the business and personal side of things, I think she could charge a lot more.)

I LOVE my pictures. Like really, I love them. I think she did an especially good job on my bridals. And I love that she gave me almost 500 of the photos from my wedding day and I can do whatever the heck I want with them. So speaking strictly photographically, I am so happy with how they turned out.

But speaking of her services professionally and personally... it is another story. Brooke was very unprofessional and difficult to work with. Even from our first time meeting her for our engagements, she gave us the worst directions possible to the location (two different sets of directions two different times) and we were almost an hour late because of it. For my bridals, she told me to come at 5:30, then texted me at 5:10 asking me why I wasn't there at 5:00 like we had planned. (At our wedding, she was telling the videographer how annoyed she was at our lateness.)

With each set of pictures, I had to pretty much beg to get them back from her. The most frustrating time was waiting for the wedding pictures. She told us to plan on getting them 6-8 weeks after the wedding. After about twice that long, I sent her an email to ask about them, to which there was no response at all. Then my mom emailed her and Brooke told her she'd mail them in the next couple days... which she didn't. After another week or more and another couple emails, my mom was finally able to drive to her house and pick them up herself. When she got there, Brooke asked my mom to wait in her car while the cd finished burning....

Honestly, I'm not upset with how long it took to get the photos back--I understand how busy she is and how long editing a wedding takes. I am upset with how she treated us--if she would have said from the beginning it would take four months, then okay, at least I knew. But to put me off and ignore me was really irritating.

Plus, she wore jeans to my wedding. That bugged me too. Just unprofessional, right?

Anyway. I'm not trying to be a jerk, I'm just trying to be honest about my experience with her because I think other people that hire her should know what they're getting into.

Phew. I think I needed to seriously vent about that one.

Most of the photos on this post are taken by her, and here are some more of her pretty pictures.

For more, see here. I'll also be posting my engagements and bridals in the next few days.

Videography: My videographer was the best ever. His name is Ryan Hinman and I picked him because of his sort of untraditional approach to wedding videography. I didn't want something that was all slow motion and cheesy music, but something that showed our wedding day how it happened. And that is exactly what I got with the video. I LOVE IT. From the beginning, Kenny thought it was so stupid to have a video done. But when we watched it, he was so excited about it and he absolutely loves it too. (I LOVE when I am right and he admits it!)

He charges really reasonable rates and gave us a digital copy also, which I was so happy about. I'm going to figure out how to put it on my blog this week so I can show you how wonderful it is. Ryan was great to work with and very professional. The funny thing is that we got the video about the same time as we got the pictures, but I didn't mind how long it took him because he had been so easy to work with throughout the whole experience. The differences between he and Brooke were so obvious, even down to the way they delivered the dvds to us. Brooke gave us a blank dvd in a blank case with my name spelled wrong on the file, and Ryan gave us this:

Pretty, huh?

Oh and also, when he found out what happened to our cake, he contacted someone he knows at the Joseph Smith building and had him make us a small cake and bring it over for us so we would at least have something to cut. How nice is that? We were so impressed with him doing that.

Wedding Planner: I had a really wonderful wedding planner named My Mom. She was so wonderful and helpful throughout everything. Plus she paid for it, which was very kind of her. But she only plans the weddings of really special clients, so I can't refer you to her or anything like that. Invitation-only sort of thing, you know.... :)

Seriously though, I had so much fun working on all this with my mom. She took days off work to come cake tasting with me and wedding dress shopping, we went to a bridal fair together, she drove all over the Wasatch Front to pick up stuff and drop stuff off, plus a million other things. I am so lucky that she was so willing to let me do whatever I wanted, even if it was untraditional or not what she would have chosen. (She doesn't like orchids very much... :) ) Some moms hold the fact that they are paying for it over your head in order to get you to do what they want, but my mom never did that. She wanted me to have my perfect wedding and was very supportive of all my decisions. I love her so much.

Phew. I'm so glad I got all that out in the open. I know I'm kind of a loser to write such a novel on all this, but I really wanted it all online for the world to see. :) I had so much fun with the whole wedding planning process. The best part of the experience though, of course, was the actual wedding. It was such a wonderful day and the best decision of all was who I married.

.tonight.

2009-11-03T23:41:00.001-07:00

I really like my life.

I'm sitting on the couch with the love of my life, editing beautiful photos of some of my favorite people, eating delicious muddy buddies, and watching my favorite movie. (You've Got Mail... I finally bought it.)

I'm pretty happy.

I would like to show you this picture. It is one of my favorite pictures I've ever taken I think. It really makes me smile.

To see the rest of the photos from this session, click here. :)

.scary.

2009-11-02T12:31:00.000-07:00

I hope you had a very happy Halloween this year. Because I sure did. I was brave and watched Psycho on Friday (it wasn't even scary), then Kenny and I got all dressed up for our party on Saturday.

Here is Kenny looking very rugged and handsome as Indiana Jones. (Look! He even has a whip! I found it at the dollar store.)

And here I am looking very frightening as a zombie girl.

I'm so scary.

But really, I'm very nice if you look past the hideousness.

I love Halloween.

.better.

2009-10-28T13:16:00.001-06:00

I'm healed!

It's about stinkin' time. After one week of that darned swine flu, I think my body finally fought it off. I'm even going back to work today for a while.

Now I just have exhaustion. I have to rest after every little thing I do. I woke up this morning at 8:30 and since then, I have showered, eaten cereal, put clothes on, blow-dried my hair, and eaten a quesadilla, which is a lot more than I've done the last four days put together. (Yesterday I only got up off the couch three times.) After each of these things, I had to rest though because it wore me out so much.

It was a relief once I finally realized that the only thing that would make me feel better was rest. Because then I just let myself stop trying to do all the things I was supposed to be doing and just get better. I went to work on Monday morning, mostly because of a guilt trip, but that was bad news so I left after a few hours. Since then, I have layed around and that is all.

And Kenny, that wonderful husband of mine, took such good care of me. On Saturday, he cleaned the whole house, went grocery shopping, did laundry, made dinner, brought me my medicine, and made me drink orange juice, all while I slept the whole day. He was so good. I love that guy.

The sad thing though, was that when I looked out the window today for the first time in two days, the world was all snowy. This was really bad news, because now it feels like winter and I had been enjoying fall so much. I am, however, very excited for the holidays this year, so that will be fun when it actually is time, which it isn't yet.

Oh my goodness, guess what else? Kenny got hit by a car yesterday on his run. He's okay though, he said it didn't hurt. It was an older lady that hit him and after he got off the hood of her car, she rolled down her window, sobbing and asking if he was okay. This does not make me happy. He almost got hit a few months ago by another old lady too. These people need to watch out for my husband! Because if one of them hit him and cause him injury, I might just accidentally hit them and cause THEM injury.

Anyway.

That's all I have to say today. Watch out for the swine flu and watch out for runners, okay? Okay.

.little bit sick.

2009-10-23T10:19:00.001-06:00

I am sick. Pretty sure it's the swine flu, but I'm not worried because I think everyone in Utah has it already. This I know because of the hundreds of phone calls every day at work from mothers of swine flu-ridden children.

So it's way fun. Because yesterday I got to stay home from work and sit on the couch and eat Skittles and watch Grey's Anatomy re-runs and edit photos. But then I had to go back to work today. And I'll be there tomorrow. But that's fine. I'll just spread the joy of the pig flu to every person I come in contact with.

Just kidding. I'll try my best not to. Unless someone makes me really mad.

The other fun thing is never knowing what my voice is going to sound like next time I speak. Sometimes it sounds really low and throaty like a smoker, and sometimes it sounds kind of high and quiet, no matter how much volume I try to put out. It's pretty exciting, like a fun little surprise every time I open my mouth.

In other news, Kenny and I have a Halloween party to attend tonight--one of four we've been invited to (we are really popular, you know). Kenny wanted to be Indiana Jones, but he can't find a whip, and I wanted to be Audrey Hepburn but I can't find a dress. So I think we're going to be old people, because that is a really easy costume to put together from the DI. Except where do we buy white spray stuff for our hair? And it would be way fun to find one of those things you put over your hair to make you look bald. For Kenny, of course.

Anyway, that's all for today. Have a wonderful, swine-flu-free weekend.

.that day.

2009-10-20T23:16:00.001-06:00

You may recall that four months and one week ago...

I got married.

It was the best. day. ever.

As you can see, we finally got our pictures back a couple weeks ago and I have been so excited to show them all to you but overwhelmed by the amount of them and the massive project of putting them online... (it has taken like ALL evening). But I wanted to show the world my beautiful day.

My photographer was Brooke Kinsey of Blush Photography. A post is in the works where I will give you a review of my experience with her and everybody else I worked with for my wedding, so I'll save most of what I have to say until then. For now, I'll just say that I LOVE my pictures. I did have a difficult time working with Brooke but in spite of that, I have a very high opinion of her actual photography. I do think she does a little too much editing to her photos and the ones she doesn't mess with too much are her best. I'm going to go through and do my own edits of some of my favorite photos, but for now, I'll just show you what she gave me. Some of them are too edited and can look washed out and some of them don't look quite finished to me (like needing to be straightened and other nit-picky things), but other than that I'm really really happy with them. :)

So here you go... my beautiful wonderful wedding day:

I love my dress.

I think Kenny is a babe in this one:

My family:

Kenny's family:

My friends:

Kenny's friends:

I have no recollection of this next one being taken, but I absolutely LOVE it:

I LOVE this next one... but it needs to be straightened. :)

Okay, I also really loved my shoes...

OH MY HECK LOOK AT THIS CUTE BABY:

Reception at the Lion House:

For some reason, this next one is one of my favorites of all the photos of the day.

Next to the moment when we were actually sealed, our dance was my favorite moment of the day (but for some reason, I do not recall there being bubbles...):

This one is a little blurry, but I kind of like it that way:

The beautiful view of the temple as we ran away:

The end.

But really, it was only the beginning. :)

.a few words on the subject.

2009-10-15T16:27:00.000-06:00

Kenny only has two days of work left after today! (Well, at one of his two jobs.) His last day is Saturday. And I am thrilled. This is the biggest perk of Kenny's new calling in the bishopric is that it gave him an excuse to quit that place. They made him work Sundays, you see. And that just wasn't working out real well. Plus he had to work all these nights until like 10:30 or 11:30. And that wasn't working out real well either, because I would get home from work at five and he would already be at work until eleven and then he would come home and still need to go on his run... and then by the time he would get home from that, it was like one in the morning and I would be asleep on the couch. (please don't mind the run-on sentence.)

Anyway. I am happy about this. We're going to be even poorer these days, but it's really okay because I realized yesterday that my time is more important than my money to me. Even though money is pretty important when you have to pay rent and stuff like that (and also when you want a new camera). But I realized that I'd rather have less money, but in exchange have Kenny around more often. And I also would rather have a day off work and miss out on the money I make, but have some extra time to do things for myself. I think this is why I don't like working for The Man (that means anybody except myself). Because I don't like exchanging my time for money doing something I don't really care about. That is why I can't wait until I can work for only myself. Then I'm only responsible for me and nobody else tells me what to do. I hate when people tell me what to do. Oh and also, then I can take whatever days off I want. Like Columbus Day. Or whatever.

That's beside the point. I think the point of this is that I am glad Kenny is quitting. Yes. A definite plus of the new calling. Another definite plus of the new calling is, as I found out last night, it comes with cookes. This is because the bishop works at Pepperidge Farm and he gets all these free cookies and then gives them away. So Kenny came home with a ziploc bag full of cookies last night!! And cinnamon rolls! I hope that happens every Wednesday night. It really brightened up my evening.

Oh and speaking of callings, did you know I am an organist now? That's right. Some people in this world apparently didn't know I play the piano. But I do. But I don't really know how to play the organ yet. It's been my calling for a month and I still don't know what I'm really doing. But my friend AJ, who is pretty much a professional organist, gave me a lesson last night (and a small performance). He's very good. His songs sort of made me want to cry. I asked him if he will be playing in general conference one day, but he informed me that you can only do that if you have a doctorate in some kind of music study. I did not know that.

Anyway. Apparently, I had a lot to say today. Which is weird, because I have been pretty quiet lately. Maybe I'm waking up from my blog-sleep. Maybe. I make no promises, but maybe I'll start having more to say one of these days.

That's all for now. Have a nice Thursday.

.marriage lesson #1.

2009-10-10T10:14:00.001-06:00

Since I've been married, I have learned a couple things. I've decided to share some of them with you. Today is Marriage Lesson #1, entitled... Expectations and Requests.

So. There are all these things that I expect of Kenny. Some things are okay to expect, like I expect him not to date other women. Or yell at me. Or die. I also expect him to kill all the spiders.

These are reasonable expectations.

But then I expect all these other things too, like that he should talk to me for a certain amount of time every day. Or that he should not leave eight pairs of shoes spread throughout the apartment. Or that he shouldn't get the bathroom rug soaking wet every time he gets out of the shower. Or that he should close all the cupboard doors and dresser drawers he opens.

Apparently, these are not reasonable expectations.

I have all these things I think he should or shouldn't do, because they are things that I would or wouldn't do. But how in the heck would he know to do or not do these things if they are things that don't even matter to him?

Okay so some of those are stupid examples. But if it's something important, like the amount of time we spend together every day, he should probably know what I expect. Because if he doesn't, he will do whatever he thinks is best, and I might end up all huffy and mad. And he has no idea why. And then he is sad, and then I feel guilty.

So the other day, we decided that there were certain things that were unfair for us to just expect of one another. BUT some of those things are important enough to each of us that it IS fair to request it of each other. So I can tell Kenny it is important to me that he gives me like ten minutes of his undivided attention every day. And then if he agrees to that, it can become an expectation. I could also tell him that it sort of bothers me when all the cupboards and drawers are open, but since that is something that doesn't really affect our relationship and eternal future, I'll try really hard not to expect it of him. Which means I can't be mad if he doesn't do it.

Anyway. This is what I learned this week. I already pretty much knew it, but now that these things affect our marriage, it's so much more important for me to be better.

So there is lesson #1. I'll be sure to let you know what I learn next. :)

.every morning.

2009-10-08T10:11:00.000-06:00

Every morning, the alarm on my cell phone goes off somewhere between 6:00 and 7:00 AM. I pick up my phone, look at the two options--one says "Snooze" and one says "Dismiss." But my groggy mind can't read that early and they look like garbled words I've never seen before. So I just pick one and go back to sleep.

Ten minutes later, the next alarm goes off. I'm a little more alert this time, but I still turn it off. I turn onto my other side and see a man laying in my bed with me. This always surprises me a little bit. I remember I'm married to that man. This cheers me up and I kiss his face or his arm or whatever is closest. I snuggle into his arms and fall back asleep.

Twenty minutes later, I wake up for reals (without an alarm, interestingly enough). I know I must get up, but now, I want to even less because I am snuggling with my Kenny. I whimper and begin the separation process. I scoot to the edge of the bed. I hang my head off the side. I put on my glasses. I check the time on my phone and panic a little. My leg sticks out of the covers, testing the warmth of the air outside the bed. Then my body grudgingly slinks out. I look back at the bed as I leave the room and wish I could lay in it all morning with my beautiful husband.

I really love that guy.

.block.

2009-09-28T15:34:00.000-06:00

Every day, I think to myself... My poor blog has been so neglected. I must write just SOMETHING. So I sit down, open a new post, and ponder. What in the world should I write? I think.

I could write about how much I love Logan this time of year. And how the temperatures are so nice and mild. I'm a mild kind of person, I think. I don't like extremes of any type, be it weather, lifestyle, or otherwise. But who writes about the weather? I must really have nothing to say.

So maybe I will write about how fast September has flown by. How it is already the 28th and I could swear yesterday was the 7th. But time flying by is the kind of thing grown-ups talk about when there's not much else to say. It's like when your grandma would tell you how big you were getting every time she saw you. So I won't write about that.

I could tell cyberspace how desperately in love I am with my husband. I really am. And even though this week was exceptionally hormonal on my part, he still loves me just as much. But I say that on pretty much every blog post I write and maybe cyberspace doesn't want to hear it all yet again.

So I guess I just won't write anything at all, I think to myself. I tell myself that my blog is not a reflection of my life and if I am neglectful of my blog, it doesn't mean I am neglectful of my life. I am good, even if my blog isn't.

So I'll write tomorrow, I say. Something will come to me before then--something I can tell the world.

Yes, tomorrow.

.little gratefuls.

2009-09-22T01:05:00.001-06:00

Today I'm grateful for:

the lovely weather we've been having
our cute apartment
cookies
the dresser we finally bought for only $70
Grey's Anatomy reruns to watch while Kenny is at work
a job I like
my new labelmaker
and my comfortable bed which I'm going to go lay in right... now...

.thursday thoughts.

2009-09-17T09:33:00.001-06:00

I really wish I had something thrilling to tell you today.

But I don't. :) My life seems to consist of my job, my photography, and my Kenny. Kenny is my favorite part of my life, of course.

And photography is #2. It's interesting though--the last few days I have had new motivation and new excitement for my upcoming photography career. I can't wait until I am successful enough at it to let it be all I do. I can't believe I really found something I can (and want!) to do forever. I am excited about the things I'm learning and doing. I am excited about things that are in the works for the near future. It is just starting to feel like if I really do everything I possibly can, I can be successful at this.

So those are my thoughts this morning.

And here I leave you with one of my favorite recent pictures of my favorite little kid:

Happy Thursday. :)

.paintball.

2009-09-09T22:54:00.000-06:00

Kristin's Guidelines and Warnings for Women Participating in Paintball

It's worth playing if it helps your husband realize he has the coolest wife ever.
Pad in as many layers as possible over the entire body. It's worth risking heat stroke to make sure you are covered sufficiently.
It's kind of claustrophobic in that mask and you don't really have any peripheral vision.
The boys will tell you it doesn't hurt that bad to get shot, but then once you are all dressed and ready to go, they'll tell you how it really feels.
You must not be afraid of the pain that WILL come when you DO get shot. And don't be surprised that it may be inflicted by your own family members.
These people will probably say behind your back that they think you are going to cry.
As long as the boys don't see, you are allowed to cry a little behind your mask and maybe even say a naughty word if you get shot in a fleshy, painful area, such as, maybe, like, the upper thigh.
Wounds inflicted in such areas may cause welts and bruising that worsens over the following days (but this also makes you look really cool and reminds your husband of your awesomeness).
It's best to be on the same team as your husband, so as not to create any feelings of animosity or desires for revenge.
It's surprisingly realistic and war-like to hide in bushes and attack people. And it's a nice way to relieve some pent-up anxiety by shooting people lots of times.
The game is made slightly more feminine if you use pink paintballs.
Feel free to shamelessly display any welts and bruises with all persons around. Everyone will be (or will pretend to be) very impressed. This might make the pain a little bit worth it.
It's okay to want to never play again--the fact that you were very brave and did it once is something you can hold onto and remind your husband of many times throughout your life.

.autobiography, chapter two.

2009-09-02T22:43:00.000-06:00

I step out of the air conditioned building in which I work each day and the wave of September heat flows around my body. I love this month. When temperatures drop a bit and children are in school and autumn is foreshadowed by the sneaky Halloween displays and sweater sales.

Speaking of sweater sales, I think I will stop by Kenny's new place of employment, where they happen to have all sorts of clothing. I miss him today and a ten minute meeting would get me through the next seven hours until I see him again.

When I arrive, I excitedly speed-walk to the shoe department, scanning every aisle for his blond head along the way. I come upon the children's shoes and there he is, dressy and name-tagged, concentrating on the clipboard in his hands and making crossing-out marks occasionally. It takes all my self-control to shut my mouth and stroll down the aisle as any shoe-browsing customer might do, so as not to draw his attention too soon. Right now, I just want to look at him. He's so handsome. I love the blue shirt he wears because I notice how beautiful his eyes are. I know I've been staring too long when he glances up at me. It takes about 1.5 seconds for him to register who I am because why would I be here now? But then his face lights up and those wonderful blue eyes take me in and love me all on their own.

I follow him around for a bit, and we pretend that he is helping me decide between the princess shoes and the Mary Janes for the sake of the cameras that are noticeably plastered on the walls above us. Every fifteen seconds or so, neither of us can take it anymore and we must kiss real quick. Who cares about the cameras? he says. I don't, I say.

I tell him about funny things at work so far and he tells me that we got our financial aid today, which is good because we already went out for ice cream last night in celebration of that very event. I love you, I say admiringly. I love you too, he says adoringly. I better go and he better get back to work. So I depart, more smiley than I was fifteen minutes earlier.

.autobiography, chapter one.

2009-08-31T10:08:00.000-06:00

It's Monday morning and I let myself slide out of bed. I'm not tired anymore because I've been reading long enough for my body to catch up to the day. I walk to the kitchen, get a bowl and spoon from the dish drainer and open the cupboard in search of breakfast.

On the cereal slash snack shelves, I see that this is the spot where Kenny has put the package of oats we bought at the store on Saturday. Later, I will relocate them to the cupboard with the cooking supplies where they belong. Kenny doesn't understand my system of organization in the kitchen, which is fine.

I pour a bowl of granola with raisins, except no raisins, because I picked them out of the whole box a couple days ago. I don't have time to pick around raisins while I'm eating my cereal.

As I sit and chew, my digestive system kicks in and I make a trip to the bathroom. I return. I survey our living room and contemplate the day that sprawls before me. Life is somewhat a routine now. Not quite settled, but I like it that way--a little unpredictable.

I wonder if I should write. I have always wanted to, even though I didn't really like writing in school because other people were always telling me what to write about. And all I ever really wanted to write about was me, as self-centered as that makes me sound. But lately I am inspired. To write, that is.

When I was a little girl and I used to read all the time, I frequently found myself narrating my life in my head. And now it has begun again. I silently narrate my every activity, thought, and emotion as if I were reading it from the pages of an unknown author's writings. I really think that my life should be a novel, because I happen to find it fascinating.

So I write. My life suddenly is a novel, and this is the first page.

.my nice life.

2009-08-28T08:30:00.003-06:00

This morning I noticed how nice my life is. I pretty much knew it already, I just appreciated it an extra little bit today. I'm content with it.

I drove to work, thinking how nice it is to have such a good job that I don't dread going to every single day. Then I thought about how lucky I am to even have a job at all. It's also wonderful that I have that husband who doesn't mind working two jobs and going to school, because he knows how poor we are and wants to take care of me.

I also thought about how I haven't missed being single one teeny little bit--I went to the meat market that currently is the Utah State campus.... And by that I mean all the singles looking at each other trying to find a mate and stuff. I'm so happy I don't have to worry if that boy over there is looking at me (whether I want him to or not), and I love knowing that I never have to look at them again.

I love that we have our own little home now and we're being grown-ups there--paying expensive bills and everything. It's not a dream apartment, but it fits us and we are happy there. And coming home to Kenny every day is the best thing in the world.

My contentedness is manifest in a few ways--one of them is that I finally have stopped having bad dreams every night. Last month I couldn't have a restful night because it was full of stressful nightmares. And it's not like my life was bad in any way, I think it was just happening because of the craziness and the routine-less-ness of my life... does that make sense? But the dreams have pretty much stopped--or at least they're back to being just occasional instead of the norm. Except I did have a dream last night that a giant bird was trying to eat my hands.

So even though Kenny is working like 16 hours today and I won't get to hang out with him until 11:30 PM, even though I have a heaping pile of dishes to do (by hand, obviously) and lots of laundry to deal with, even though life still gets a bit stressful worrying about the little things here or there... and a few big things.... I have what I've always wanted and needed.

And his name is Kenny.

And I'm content. :)

.what you missed.

2009-08-26T08:30:00.001-06:00

There are a lot of things I haven't been able to tell you about. So today, I will catch you up.

First of all, way back when Kenny came home from New Mexico, here is what he was greeted with: (I've been wanting to show it to you so you can see how cute of a wife I am.)

Between the time he came home and the time we moved to Logan, not too much happened. But then we got here and moved into our wonderful little apartment. This was our first dinner here:

Oh and also, that same week some lightning started a fire and the whole sky turned orange-ish and the sun became a big ball of flame!

Anyway. The next week we had the grand adventure of tubing down the Logan river with Monica, Oliver, and Kyle. And it was SO FUN. Because, you see, I'm usually not so adventurous. But that day I was. I couldn't steer very well though, so I ran into all the branches hanging off the sides and was jabbed in the rear by all the pointy rocks in the water. Also, I lost a shoe.

Here we are on the way. We jammed three inner tubes and three human beings into Kenny's little car.

Kyle was smushed somewhere between those tubes:

While we waited for the others to arrive, Kenny and I played with his new most prized possession. It is a blowgun.

The next weekend, we traveled to Coalville for the Summit County fair and rodeo:

The next week, Mr. Kenny got a haircut:

And it was HIS BIRTHDAY!!

I gave him this picture, because he loves Paris so much.

And then we scootered away...

...to our very favorite restaurant.

Then we came home and had lovely birthday cake.

And Kenny turned 23.

And that is all for now. I feel so much better now that we're caught up.

.what a nice day.

2009-08-24T18:36:00.001-06:00

Yaaaaay!

YAY YAY YAY!

I am writing this very post from my very own living room with my very own internet that I'm paying for with my very own money!!

I don't think it says good things about me that I am this excited about the internet. But you want to know what the first thing I wanted to do with it is?? WRITE ON MY BLOG.

So here I am.

Today was good also because the Comcast man set up TV. But just basic channels, and really, it's just so I can watch So You Think You Can Dance this fall. And perhaps the news occasionally.

Guess what ELSE happened today? A plumber came! To fix our toilet!! And now I don't have to reach inside the back of it to flush anymore. I just push the handle and it goes. Ahhh, life is SO GOOD.

But not just because of those silly things. Because all the little parts of my life are good too. Most especially the being-married-to-Kenny part. It's just heavenly. We have so much fun together.

And now I'm going to help him make dinner. Even though he'd make it for me all by himself if I kept sitting here. But I'm a good wife so I will help, I think.

That's all for now. You can go back to reading this daily, because I'm going to be around a lot more now.

Have a nice day. :)

.life begins again.

2009-08-17T12:59:00.000-06:00

We have no internet in our new apartment for a while... so my posts are sparse these days. Which is really too bad, because there is so much going on that I would like to tell you....

We have had all our moving excitement and busy-ness, Kenny's birthday celebrations, a trip to southern Utah (which was SO FUN), and lots of other wonderful things happening. Today my brother moves up to Logan too, which is very exciting--now all three of us are here. I like that. (Anytime you'd like to join us here would be fine, Mom and Dad. :) )

And today marks the day that semi-normal life begins again. I started my new job this morning, and Kenny goes back to school on Monday. I think our lives will be busy, but so fun.

This whole marriage thing is really fun. I love it and I love that Kenny. We have so much fun together and I could not be happier than I am when I am with him. :)

Life is just good. :)

.moving day.

2009-08-05T11:46:00.001-06:00

Well, isn't my life just crazy??

Yup, a little bit.

Yesterday was moving day! Kenny and I packed our cars as full as they would go and hauled it all up to Logan. Then Kenny's parents met us up there with a trailer full of furniture for us. Listen to this: they gave us their cute couches (his mom wants new ones... lucky for us!), two nightstands, a side table, and a coffee table. Plus Kenny had two giant bookcases they also brought up. Then we got the rest of Kenny's furniture from our storage unit--the bed, another bookcase, and a few other things.

Holy moly.

Now we have a giant mess of an apartment with everything all haphazardly arranged. We first worked on the kitchen--which was SO FUN. We got to open all those wedding gifts that have been sitting in their boxes for two months or more and set it all up. It was like Christmas. We have our brand new apartment, filled with brand new appliances, dishes, pots and pans, etc. It's WONDERFUL. (Getting the kitchen table is still in the works, however.)

All of that took most of the afternoon and evening and we finally quit at about 11:00 PM, after which... Kenny went on his run. He is sort of crazy. When he got home, we made a little bed on the orange living room floor and went to sleep. It had been a long day.

I can't wait to show pictures and all that, but we don't have internet yet so I can only post at work (shh, don't tell)....

Anyway. It's all so fun and exciting. And it feel so good to be back to Logan!

YAY!

.change of plans.

2009-08-03T18:00:00.001-06:00

As it turns out... we're going to Logan... tomorrow...!

Not officially moving in until next week, but starting the process.

I'm very excited.

So me and the Mr. have lots to do in a little amount of time and I can't spend much of it here, so... that's all for now.

But I have lots to catch you up on later. :)

.ideas.

2009-07-29T14:31:00.001-06:00

In less than two weeks, Kenny and I will be housed in a brand new apartment. And by brand new, I mean like 30 years old... but brand new to us. I've told you already about the orange carpet and I'm trying to find ways to deal with that.... But the last couple weeks, my mind is BURSTING with decorating ideas! I cannot wait to get my hands on that place, I tell you. I have been inspired from my mom's magazines, a few websites and blogs dedicated to home design, and stores such as Ikea (ohhhh how I LOVE Ikea...).

And obviously, because we are renting, we can't do really cool stuff like paint and rip out carpet and stuff. But I definitely have ideas of ways to get around those obstacles... Here is some of my inspiration:

So Kenny and I are about to become very crafty decorators. And because of our lack of funds, it is going to take a lot of creativity.

I'm SO excited.

.it is what it is.

2009-07-27T01:06:00.001-06:00

I've been quiet lately.

Because my life is in limbo. And "life in limbo is always hard," as my mother-in-law said a few days ago.

And nothing could explain my current situation more clearly. Everything is just in-between for me right now: work... school... our living situation... photography.... I'm nowhere that I feel like I should be. I'm not making much progress with any of it.

But thank goodness Kenny is home now. His presence calms down my life immensely. I just can't wait until he's done with this silly job of his though. Two more weeks and he will be more mine since the honeymoon. (Since we returned, I have had to share WAY more of him with this job than I am okay with.)

It just seems that nothing is in balance right now. Not my body, not my mind, not even my blog. My body has lacked energy because I'm finding it difficult to eat well these days. And my mind is too full of problems and solutions that I can't think clearly. Plus I've been having nightmares... OH the nightmares! Every night for weeks now! I can't shake them. Not to mention the inconsistency that's been going on, you know, blog-wise.

My mind is packed full of all these plans and wishes and ideas... but then they seem to be overshadowed by problems and fears and worries. I keep thinking "everything will be fine when we just..." and then insert something in the future. But that is SO the wrong attitude! I just BARELY read a book about this very thing.

I think this is what I need to keep telling myself:

"...there are no problems. Only situations--to be dealt with now, or to be left alone and accepted as part of the 'isness' of the present moment until they change or can be dealt with. Problems are mind-made."

(Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now)

Life is what it is right now, and that means it's the way God wants it to be. So I might as well accept it and allow it to be. Right?? Right.

So I'm on it. All that acceptance and stuff... I'm on it. And I'm going to choose to be happy today, not in spite of my so-called 'problems,' but because of them. Because... life is the way it is.

And it's all okay.

.TOMORROW.

2009-07-21T16:18:00.000-06:00

So remember that one time when I got married?

Then remember that other time when my new husband had to go to New Mexico for sixteen days?

Well tomorrow is the day that husband is coming back to me!! 24 more hours and I will be kissing his little face. I love that little face.

While it's been very nice to be in Logan during this time, I'm ready to get back to things being sort of normal. But guess what I've gotten to do while here?

Work at the bank. I like it there.
Sleep at Katie's. I like it there too.
Play with Jack. He is the most charming little boy ever and I love him so darn much.
See my Logan peeps. (HA HA there is no way I can pull off saying that word.)
Read a lot of things about life and photography--two of my favorite things.
Watch The Bachelorette with Katie. Try not to judge me. Oh and don't let me forget to watch the finale next Monday.
Sign a contract for a lovely orange apartment. (I LOVE IT! AND IT'S SO CHEAP!!)
Watch some episodes of 24 with Dustin and Katie... I'm trying real hard not to get hooked again.
Eat at Old Grist Mill six times for lunch.
Talk to Kenny every single night for like 45 minutes. We finally realized I could just call him at his hotel and not get charged. What a relief.
Have nightmares every night... I think it's happening because of a combination of Kenny's absence and my sleeping in an unfamiliar place. Also, it might be on account of my crazed subconscious.

Okay so that last thing has not been nice. But the rest are nice. Basically, I'm trying to say that it STINKS having Kenny gone... but I have made the best of it and tried to keep myself busy and things have worked out okay.

But holy moly, I really can't wait to get to that airport tomorrow afternoon.

:)

.i love my mom.

2009-07-18T11:15:00.000-06:00

So it was my birthday last Saturday. I am now finally 21 years of age, and if moving away from home and getting married haven't proved it, I'm now an adult!

A couple days before my birthday, my mom asked me what kind of cake I wanted. I said, "My wedding cake," just as a little joke.

Well here is the cake my mom made me:

Oh my goodness, it looks JUST like my wedding cake!!

My mom went to a ton of effort and spent a lot of time recreating what my wedding cake looked like, you know, before it fell over.

I was SO HAPPY.

Thank you, Mom. I love you a lot.

.three things.

2009-07-15T10:55:00.000-06:00

1. This week I am in Logan. I am working during the days and staying with Katie, Dustin and Jack at night. (Yay! I love those guys!) The problem is... I don't have wireless internet at either of those places. So how the heck am I supposed to blog all the picrtures I have to blog?

I just don't know.

Oh and also, I just now looked at this blog on my work computer and on this screen, my header is all icky and pixelated. Why didn't any of you TELL ME? I'll have to work on that.

Anyway. Point is... to tell you that I'm not being lazy, I am just unable to post for a bit.

2. While in Logan, I am apartment-searching. And I've looked at so many nasty apartments that I don't know how much longer I can handle it.

Luckily, I think I found one yesterday! There are a few downsides to it, the main one being the BRIGHT ORANGE carpet throughout the rooms... but for what it is, it's a STEAL. And heaven knows we need low rent. The carpet just gives it personality, right??

I have to let the managers know today if we want it... and I think we do. Well, Kenny at least thinks so. He's only heard about it from me, of course, but he likes the price. And I do to, I just have to figure out where I can buy some very large rugs.

3. Only one more week until Kenny comes home!! Seven more days... do you think I can do it?? It's only like 180 more hours.

Yup, I'm counting down.

That's all. Happy Wednesday!

.dear my kenny.

2009-07-10T13:11:00.005-06:00

I surrrrre miss you. You've been gone four days and six hours. And it feels like so much longer. Only eleven and a half days left.

So it stinks way bad that your brand new phone is broken. Because guess what? I really want to talk to you. And every time you call me from La Quinta on your calling card, it happens to be the only two seconds of the day I am away from my phone. I can't even call you back because I don't know your room number.

You know what else stinks way bad? My birthday is tomorrow and you can't be here.

Hmph.

I really miss you! Is it pathetic that I almost can't remember how it feels to have you with me? Is it strange that it feels like the three weeks before you left--the best three weeks of my life--seem like a dream? I find myself seeing snippets of it, the way dreams are remembered...

...you in your brown tux on our wedding day

...your expression when you saw me for the first time in my dress

...you gently taking care of me on our honeymoon

...our childlike excitement at Disneyland

...how long and hard you've been working to support our new family

...your patience with my moodiness that one night

...how you looked when we woke up together last Saturday

...the look on your face when I let you spill ice all over the floor when you tried to use the cup with no bottom and your smile at how hard I laughed at you

...watching Sabrina with you the day before you left and thinking about how we're

going to Paris

...the way you kissed me the morning you had to go, even though you almost missed your flight

I know it's silly that I can't stand to be away from you like this. I know I am independent and strong enough to handle it.... But my biggest weakness is you. I'm more dependent on you than I've ever been on anything or anybody else.

So please hurry home. And then my dreamy memories will be tangible again and I can convince myself that I am not delusional in remembering how wonderful my life really is with you in it. My life wasn't like this seven months ago. But when you came into my life... everything changed.

I know I'm a hopeless romantic. I always have been. But a little voice in my head always nagged at me, trying to convince me that I would never have what I now do with you. The little voice said that I wasn't realistic and that life isn't romantic. It said my expectations and hopes were too high and that one day they would be shattered... which they almost were.

Because I almost settled for less than you. Almost. But instead I waited, hoping for someone better, but believing he didn't exist. Just when I resigned myself to being alone, you found me. And you fixed my life in every way.

I think I just realized that I'm okay. I need you desperately, but I can relax for now, while you have to be away. Because we really have each other now. You are mine and I am yours, bound by law, but more powerfully, by God.

I can handle the wait until your phone call from La Quinta later today. I can handle the wait for eleven more days to see you. I can wait until my next year's birthday to share it with you. Because we have ETERNITY. We have now, next year, until we die, but even forever after that.

How silly I was, to act so ungrateful. Acting like a sixteen-day absence was completely unbearable. I miss you, but I'm fine. You will come home and life will go on, as it always does. But it will just get better every day. Our lives will continue to intertwine for the next forever.

How lucky I am to have you.

I love you.

Love,

your wife

.day of independence.

2009-07-07T14:41:00.003-06:00

This last 4th of July (one of my very favorite holidays), Kenny and I traveled over to Hoytsville for celebrations.

We started out at the famous Echo rope swing. It was SO FUN.

This is Kenny and me being brave enough to go double...

This is me dropping first... look at our cool shadow!

And Kenny dropping next. And my splash.

Then we had a little barbeque and lit off all our hundreds of fireworks. Remember how Kenny is working at a fireworks warehouse...? We had LOTS of explosives to play with.

To be perfectly honest, I was surprised that with so many fireworks and about six kids under the age of ten helping light them all off, no one got blown up.

Oh and also, have you noticed how grown-up males become when they have an excuse to light things on fire?

I think Kenny enjoyed himself a LOT.

.stupid new mexico.

2009-07-06T08:34:00.002-06:00

I'm blue.

My Kenny is on a plane to New Mexico. And I am not with him. :(

Because of his dumb job, he has to go there for... guess how long? Just guess.

Okay I'll tell you. Sixteen days. Today is the 6th, he returns on the 22nd.

What will I do?? What will I do without my new husband for two weeks?? I don't know.

I'm blue.

.honeymoon, part two.

2009-07-02T12:25:00.001-06:00

On Day 5 of the honeymoon, we left Laguna Beach and drove STRAIGHT to Disneyland. And let me tell you, I really couldn't wait. I LOVE that place.

We bounced back and forth between parks. We got to California Adventure and Kenny looked just adorable in his flight goggles:

Back to Disneyland...

One of Kenny's favorite rides is the new Toy Story one. We had wait in line forever, but it was pretty fun. It's like arcade games, but with 3D glasses...

Kenny also has an almost unhealthy love for the Buzz Lightyear Astroblasters ride. It's probably because of all the laser-shooting stuff.

Kenny beat my score, but it was a REALLY close race. Here is my score:

And here is Kenny's:

We dined at the lovely Rainforest Cafe:

The next day we got to wait in line to even GET INTO Disneyland. Here I am with my disgusting $7.00 granola and yogurt parfait thing.

We had to go on the Peter Pan ride, which I don't ever remember riding before. But you know what is funny... we watched that show a couple days earlier and Peter Pan TOTALLY reminds me of Kenny. (Especially the line where Peter says, "Why aren't you laughing, Wendy? Everybody else thinks I'm WONDERFUL!") And as much as I don't like it, Wendy reminds me of... me. Next time you watch it, you will see what I mean. So this is Kenny's Peter face:

(oh and also, what is with that guy and his star backpack??)

And this is how much we like the ride:

And back to California Adventure for my favorite picture of the WHOLE trip:

Then we drove home. :( Our view looking back to wonderful California:

On Saturday, we drove all the way home. The whole darn 11 hours. But it wasn't even that long, because driving with Kenny is FUN.

I sure love him.

.honeymoon, part one.

2009-06-29T14:52:00.002-06:00

The day after our wedding, Kenny and I set off to the wondrous land of California for a honeymoon adventure.

But first we had to deal with this sick mess:

Thanks Kyle and the rest of you.

And off we went.

Our first destination was the halfway mark, a little town called Las Vegas.

When we first arrived, we did not like that place. I forgot how sinful Sin City really is. Seriously people, it is not a family vacation sort of spot. It really wasn't our scene, ya know?

We had booked our hotel on Hotwire, which was the best idea ever. On this website, hotels that have rooms they have not yet booked will hand them over to Hotwire for a cheaper price, just to get them booked. But when you book the place, they only tell you the star rating and a few other details--not the name of the hotel. So you never know what you're getting.

We had booked a four-star hotel a couple weeks earlier for $59. It turned out to be Planet Hollywood, which we were pretty excited about.

So... we made our way there and as we dragged our luggage through the crowded mall and casino (not knowing valet parking was complimentary), both of our moods drooped a little. So far... not fun. We FINALLY found the front desk, finding a 20 minute line for check-in. Kenny was not too happy.

When we reached the front, the lady checked us in. After a minute, she pulled out a binder and held it up so the customers next to us couldn't hear and offered us a "complimentary upgrade" since we were only staying one night. The only catch was that it was considered a smoking room, so it "may have been smoked in before." Kenny didn't like that and wanted to say no, but I asked if the smoke smell was bad and she said probably not, because it was recently renovated. So I persuaded Kenny to go for it.

When we reached our room, we had to enter two sets of black double doors to get in. As we opened the doors, we found this:

Maybe it's hard to tell, but it was a gigantic suite with an amazing view. :)

With a living room, kitchen, extra bathroom...

And gigantic bedroom with a king size bed...

Also a very large bathroom...

And a big jetted tub...

We ran all around like little kids and couldn't believe our great luck. How often can you get one of the nicest suites in the hotel for $59?

It was so much fun.

The next day we drove to Laguna Beach, California (I won't tell you how Kenny almost accidentally took us to San Diego instead). We stayed in a little hotel that was not anything close to our previous night's stay, but had an ocean view and a private beach access.

We spent a couple days at the beach. Kenny built his sand castles and I played in the crashing waves.

I want one of these houses:

On our last night there, we drove up to Newport Beach for dinner and a visit to the beautiful temple.

Don't mind my hair... it's curlier in humidity...

That's all for now... tomorrow: Disneyland!

.time.

2009-06-26T11:45:00.005-06:00

i think it's time.

life changes call for blog changes.

i needed simplicity and more space. i was feeling that it was much too busy, cramped and crowded in here.

now i can breathe again.

.june 13th.

2009-06-24T12:47:00.004-06:00

What an overwhelming task to attempt a blog post about my wedding day! I have a limited number of pictures, so I'll tell the story with what I've got from my lovely sister Katie and also the ones I have taken from Jalene and Lindsay's blogs. :)

9:30 am: hair and makeup

3:00 pm: sealing at Salt Lake Temple

...during which a severe lightning and thunderstorm raged outside the temple walls.

The sealing could not have been more beautiful or dreamlike and it was the most amazing part of the day. I was especially grateful, however, to not be the bride who came in after me with DRENCHED hair. It looked like she just got out of the bathtub. I felt very sorry for her. Luckily it stopped raining just in time for our exit.

Approximately 4:15 pm: exit from temple (note... we would have been out about 25 minutes earlier had the well-intentioned temple workers not told us different places to meet each other...)

Other than the ground being soaked and slippery, the weather cleared up enough for us to get some pictures at the temple. It was so nice to be there so late in the afternoon because there wasn't anyone else around to get in the way of our pictures. :)

I LOVE this picture from Lindsay:

Me and Jalene adoring each others' dresses:

Katie and Jack:

My amazing and oh so patient parents:

My favorite friends:

5:00 pm: dinner at The Lion House with family and friends:

(DEEEEEEP breath)

Okay before you see this next photo... I have a story for you. Once upon a time, there was a girl named Kristin, who had a vision of the PERFECT wedding cake for her summer garden wedding. She worked with a veteran wedding cake maker to create the replica of the beautiful cake and couldn't wait to see it on the day of her marriage.

After the dinner, however, the cake was nowhere to be found. The hostesses at the Lion House assured us it was on its way.

Just as the line for the reception began, my mom was motioned over by the hostess to take care of an... emergency.

You see... my cake had toppled over during delivery.

What to do?! We didn't know. I was already worked up about having to move the reception inside because of the wetness and puddles out in the garden, but to have my cake ruined.... I am embarrassed to say... I cried. I know it's only a cake, but people, it's my WEDDING CAKE!

Oh, the horror.

Katie went into the kitchen to see the mess of it and made them stack it back up so she could show me a picture of what it looked like. (YAY Katie!)

Here it is... try not to cry along with me at its potential stunning cuteness:

So... the reception went on without it.

7:00 pm: reception at Lion House begins

After the emotional drama subsided, the reception was so much fun. I can't tell you how wonderful it was to see all those people that have meant so much to me throughout my life.

I don't have too many pictures of this event yet, but here are two:

Katie and Kristin:

And the second most beautiful part of the day... dancing outside in the garden to our song before the exit. I cried.

This was by far, the most emotional, overwhelming, beautiful, and important day of my life. I have never been happier than when I was finally married to my Kenny. Even though there were little details of the day that didn't go according to plan, my day was amazing. I knew that nothing was more important than the fact that I was married eternally to Kenny and that all the most important people in the world to us were there to celebrate it.

To all of you who were there to help make it so incredibly wonderful, I thank you from the deepest part of my heart. :) I honestly can't tell you thank you enough for the love and support you give to Kenny and me.

Most of all, I want to thank my parents for all the sacrifices they made for Kenny and I to have this wonderful day. Especially you, Mom. Because you helped me plan for this for six months, put up with all my picky decisions, dished out all the money it takes to plan a wedding, and gave me all the emotional support I needed at this most important time of my life, among with a million other things. I was so grateful to have you in the temple next to me as I left your nest and began my own. I love you so much.

It's interesting how content I am now. Before I met Kenny, even while we dated and were engaged, there was always this longing for the time when we would finally be married and could finally begin our life together. Well, it is here now. And I am content. Things are not perfect. Marriage is an adjustment. Changes will continue to come. But I am happier than I've ever been.

I love Kenny with all of my little heart. I am so lucky to be with him for now and for eternity.

And I could not be happier.

.back.

2009-06-22T18:08:00.005-06:00

well, hallelujah.

i did it! i'm married!

i was convinced that somehow it would never happen but IT DID! nine days ago, i married my favorite person in the whole wide universe and now i get to be with him for eternity.

ETERNITY. that's... forever.

i couldn't be happier.

these last nine days have been the best of my life. we honeymooned to california--laguna beach and disneyland to be specific. and boy, was it faaaaantastic. trips are FUN with a husband to bring along! i didn't even mind an eleven hour drive with that man.

i'll tell you about it this week, but for now here is a picture i stole from jalene from the momentous occasion:

p.s. look at that BABE of a husband i have!

.the day.

2009-06-13T08:33:00.001-06:00

I'm getting married today.

(What does it say about me that I am blogging on my wedding day??)

I am trying real hard not to be stressed out about everything today and to just enjoy the day. If you come to my reception today, would you mind reminding me to do that? :)

It really will be a wonderful day. I've been waiting almost 21 years for THIS very event to occur. I could not have found a better man to marry than my Kenny Brown. I love him so much.

So after all the planning and worrying that has happened up to this point, as of this second, I relinquish control. I am not going to stress for any more time and tarnish my day with worry.

Because today is for and Kenny and me. Because I love him, and he loves me.

And nothing is more important than that.

.go away.

2009-06-12T09:05:00.002-06:00

Sooo...

I am getting married tomorrow!

And for the last few months I have been planning my beautiful OUTDOOR GARDEN reception. It is so beautiful in my mind. And now... it will probably rain.

It's at the Lion House, so we have the backup option of moving it inside, but... I so don't want to do that. It's so pretty outside and so... not really what I want on the inside.

I'm kind of bummed. But I decided that even though I've always worried about rain on my wedding day, I refuse to let it dampen my moods tomorrow. I am getting married, for crying out loud. It will be the happiest day of my life, regardless of the weather.

It would just be, you know, like, DOUBLE happy if it didn't rain.

That's all.

p.s. by extreme chance, did anyone happen to record so you think you can dance this last wednesday?? mine was set to record and it only recorded ONE MINUTE! of commercials, no less. anyone?? i'd love to watch it. :(

.5.

2009-06-08T01:50:00.000-06:00

I made it through the weekend... hallelujah. This is what I was so nervous about on Friday:

But all went well. Except for the parking ticket. :)

Then Saturday was such a wonderful day that I got to spend with my wonderful family and my wonderful Kenny doing WONDERFUL things.

GUESS WHAT?? MY WEDDING IS THIS VERY WEEK!! Holy moly!! Five more days and I become a married woman! I can't believe it might actually happen.... I think part of me never thought something THIS amazing might really be true. But I think it is. :)

That's all I have time to tell you for now. There is so much to do!

.nerves.

2009-06-05T07:59:00.003-06:00

ohhhhh boy.

i'm nervous today. i'll tell you why later.

just know that when today is over, i finally only have to worry about my wedding. there have been lots and lots of other worries and stresses going on in my brain, but after today, things are going to level out. i will force them to.

because i really really really don't want to be stressed anymore.

phew.

just had to get that off my chest.

.one.

2009-06-04T12:43:00.004-06:00

this baby:

turns one today.

i love that kid.

.26.2.

2009-06-03T12:53:00.006-06:00

I can't believe I haven't written about this very exciting event yet. Maybe because I've been a LITTLE busy lately.

A few weeks ago, my Kenny ran a marathon. The whole 26.2 miles. And since I'm a really good almost-wife, I drove him to Ogden at 4:30 AM to drop him off. Then I drove to Eden to meet him at the halfway mark, as seen below.

This is him running towards me to give me a kiss:

Then these people across the street yelled for him to "come back and give her another one" so he flexed for them.

I think I energized him. Look at that bounce in his run:

Isn't he CUTE?

So now I'm going to brag about how awesome my almost-husband is. This was Kenny's second marathon. The one he ran last fall he finished in 3:50, which is pretty dang good for a first marathon. (I think the average time is like 4:20 or something... not that I really know these things...) So this time, Kenny's goal was to beat 3:30. Yeah, well he got 3:12. Three hours and twelve minutes, people! That is SO FAST. To qualify for the Boston marathon you have to get a 3:10... so pretty much, he is A REALLY REALLY FAST RUNNER.

My almost-husband is so cool.

Here we are at the end, me looking tired because I had only gotten two hours of sleep, Kenny looking tired because he just ran a really long ways:

p.s. his shirt says "stud muffin."

p.p.s. ten more days.

.long way to go.

2009-06-02T09:05:00.001-06:00

So have I told you how I am using my time this summer to learn how to be a real photographer? (You see, I still have a difficult time considering myself a 'real' one... even though I guess I am, technically... people do give me money for it....) Well, I am. And let me tell you, I have so much to learn.

I really really love photography. I spend pretty much all the time I don't spend thinking about Kenny thinking about photography. My two loves. :)

But I keep getting sort of frustrated because I'm not as good as I wish I was. I look at the pictures I did last month and I am not so happy with them. I look at the pictures I took yesterday and while I know I've improved a little, I'm still not so happy. I feel like I'm at this roadblock, where I will either get a lot better really soon, or be a big failure really soon.

Plus, I need some money. Like... $5,000 would be good, you know, just to get me started. I need a new camera. A couple new lenses. A better camera bag (a shootsac, please). And lots of cards and batteries.

Oh and also, I'll need some more jobs. :) Preferably after my honeymoon though. The more jobs I get, the more money I make to support my habit, which means there is more time I can justify spending on my habit, which would definitely be what makes me improve as a photographer. See?? I have lots to do.

Anyway....

Just needed to vent it all out for a minute because I have to get these worrisome thoughts out of my mind somehow. This is a nice place to do it. :)

.home.

2009-05-27T15:03:00.002-06:00

I've been thinking. It's weird to be back in Centerville. This is the first time I've lived at home since I first moved out three-ish years ago. I love my home. And I don't necessarily mean my house. I mean my home. I love seeing my parents and my brother every day. I love having my beautiful high school bedroom back with the two closets and attached bathroom. I love my big backyard with all the green. I love how excited my kitty gets to see me. I love not worrying if there will be any food with my initials on it in the fridge when I open it up. I love the peace of living in a house-home and not a student apartment in a college town. Here I am comfortable. Here I am home.

My thoughts now turn to the conversation my love and I had the other day on the phone. You see, I hadn't seen him for five days. I think that is the longest it's ever been (you know, besides the first 20.5 years). We talked about what life will be like when we are finally married (ahem... in 17 days). We talked about how after one small moment in time, or rather, eternity, EVERYTHING will be changed for us. At 3:00 on June 13, 2009, something magical will happen. Kenny will become mine--my family. And my most immediate family member at that. All my other relationships become secondary to this one. The ONE very very important relationship.

After this magical moment, Kenny and I will have begun our own family. We will leave our fathers and mothers and cleave unto each other, and only each other. We will make our own little home.

While for the last 21 years, my home has been wherever my family is, on June 13th, my home becomes wherever Kenny is. This is the way it should be. I love my family and the home they created for me. Love is always so abundant there. I will always come back to it and they will always be my family.

But now, I marry Kenny. Now, he and I begin creation of a new home and a new family. Not a replacement for our previous family establishments, just a new one. In this new place, it will be my husband I see every day. It will be our bedroom that I love, our kitchen we cook together in, our closets I organize. We won't have pets or children for a while, but when we do, they will be ours. Our own creations. One day we will have a house and a backyard, where the little creations will play. We will have created jobs for ourselves that allow us to provide for them. This will be a peaceful and loving place, modeled after the homes our parents created for us. In this new place, we will have comfort. In this new place, we will have made a home.

You see, it's all about the cycle of love and creation. I believe the world revolves around it.

I can't imagine a better life than the one I will live with Kenny next to me. As my husband. It is God's intention that we grow up and come to this point, ready to embark upon a whole new cycle of loving creation, only allowable through sacred marriage between us. Life is about to change drastically. But I am not even scared. Kenny and I are meant for one another. I know God wants us to marry and begin this family together.

And really... I can't wait.

.oh my.

2009-05-23T22:18:00.000-06:00

OH the stress!

There is so much of it in my life right now! There is so much to do and my hours and days fly by so quickly. This explains the blog neglect that has been occurring. I have lots to tell you, my dear friends.

For tonight, I'll tell you how we get to address and stuff 450 wedding invitations this weekend. And how I've driven 909 miles in the last seven days. And how I'm having this problem where every time I swallow or talk it feels like a knife is jabbing into my throat. And how there is only three weeks until I get married. (WHAT?!) And how we still haven't planned our honeymoon. And how my basement at home is still a gigantic disaster and there is an enormous amount of organizing left to do. And how excited I am about all the photography stuff I have been doing and how much I'm learning. And how much I miss Kenny and don't like that he is away from me in St. George this weekend. And how I still don't have sheets on my bed downstairs and have been sleeping in the guest bed for days. And how So You Think You Can Dance has started and I haven't even had a second to watch it on my DVR yet.

I'll stop, even though I could continue.

The point is, I have stress. Kenny says I need to prioritize and simplify my life. But I don't really know how to do that. I don't want to stress... and somehow I can't help it. I'm going to give myself an ulcer one of these days if I'm not careful.

Want to see something cute, though? Okay, here you go. The rest will come soon.

.officially.

2009-05-19T23:55:00.002-06:00

I am a businesswoman. You may congratulate me, if you like.

Here is my photography website, folks: www.kristinbrownphotography.com. And I know I'm a little premature on the new last name, but that's just the way it's going to go down. (Only 24 days left until it's the real name though!)

So the website is still sort of rough for now... not quite finished, but I decided I'd rather have it up now, even while I tweak a little.

I think I may still post some photos from any shoots I do here, but I'll post more on the other site, if you would like to see them.

Okay, so you love me, right?? And you want me to be happy and successful, right?? Okay. Well, what would be really really wonderful for me and my photography is if you wouldn't mind linking to me on your blog or mentioning me to someone who maybe needs a photographer. Because I am pretty sure that's going to be the best way for me to get going with all this. So any help you would like to offer would just be grand. Thank you so much. :)

That's all for now--much more news to be shared in the next few days!

.calendar.

2009-05-15T09:36:00.002-06:00

yesterday: hoytsville... a four-wheeler tour of the family farm... honeymoon planning... time with my love...

today: my bridal photos... nervousness about my bridal photos... more kenny... early bedtime...

tomorrow: rise at 4:00 am... kenny's marathon... bridal shower...

day after tomorrow: church in logan... family shower in bountiful... back to hoytsville...

yes... busy busy weekend...

.the way we used to be.

2009-05-13T23:26:00.003-06:00

Today I sat down to the task I've been avoiding. My wonderful dad is making a video for the wedding--one of those with pictures of Kenny and me from our childhoods and growing-up years, you know. And I have had stacks of photos to sort through and digitize so that they could be used.

It is a big job.

I went through Kenny's first. Do you know how strange it is to know someone so well, but then to see pictures of the first 22 years of their life that you missed?

Kenny was a CUTE child.

This next one is my FAVORITE:

And then he grew up into this handsome boy in high school:

Missionary Kenny:

Wow. I love that face. He's a cutie, huh?

Now want to see ME?? Okay, I'll show you! I had to go through years and years of photos to get these gems:

And just to make things fair, I'll even show you my Vykelle glamour shot from high school:

Tomorrow I'll be finishing this job, so you might just get to see some more of these! Isn't this fun??

p.s. raise your hand if you're eternally grateful for the digital means of capturing memories.... yeah, i sure am too.

p.p.s. ......one month from today, i will be married to that babe!

.yay.

2009-05-12T17:53:00.000-06:00

Today has been a good day.

I ran 11 errands. That is a lot, huh? I was just so productive, it's pretty remarkable.

And good news! I am on the mend, wisdom-teeth-wise. It's about freakin' time. I was so sick to my stomach yesterday because of not being able to eat real food and it has just taken so much longer than I expected to get back into things. But today I'm feeling almost normal. Yay!

That is all for now. A better post comes tomorrow.

.wedding day (but not mine).

2009-05-08T10:43:00.001-06:00

APPARENTLY... I spoke too soon yesterday. For future reference, just because everything goes well on the day of the wisdom teeth removal, does not mean everything will continue to go well...

Yesterday was a rough day. It included chipmunk cheeks, stomachaches, hunger, and some things I won't tell you about... (you are welcome.) The good thing about yesterday though was that Kenny came to visit me! Yay! It made the day a lot better. And guess what? He loves me even with a swollen face and not having brushed my teeth since Wednesday morning. (I know, I know. It is gross.) I love that boy so much. Also, Katie and Jack came to visit, which brightened up the day as well.

Today is my wonderful friend Sarah's wedding day! I am so happy for that girl. And I was REALLY hoping to not have a fat face for her wedding, but it is looking like that is just the way it has to be. I'll just avoid cameras as much as possible.

Hey, good news, though: since I've had all this time being forced to sit around, I've been getting so much done with photography. I'm almost caught up on my photography blog, which I will show you when it's done in the next few days. :)

Okay that's all for now. I'm off to shower (YAY I'll be clean!) and see if I can find some clothes in my gigantic mess downstairs. Wish me luck with my face de-swelling...

.on the third day of my summer vacation.

2009-05-07T00:48:00.000-06:00

I underwent a surgical procedure for the removal of my terceros molares. Okay, whatever--I got my wisdom teeth taken out.
I was inspired photographically.

1. They are gone! The wisdom teeth, I mean. The worst is now over and I am ready to be healed. It wasn't too terrible of an experience after all. I didn't die. I didn't throw up blood. I wasn't in any real intense pain. What a relief, huh? And the best part? I didn't even act too weird. Except for a minute when the Valium kicked in this morning. I got really dizzy and couldn't stop giggling about it. Then when I woke up from the whole thing, I was a little panicked and sad. I kept crying and I couldn't really breathe. But my nurse was so darn nice and she'd wipe away my tears and tell me everything was okay and to take deep breaths.

And know what? It's been kind of a nice day. I was able to sit around all day and because I was being forced to relax, I couldn't even feel guilty about it! Yay! I watched like five hours of 24 and read a little and computered a little. I even was well enough to go to Corey's lacrosse game! It was good, except I almost threw up twice. And I haven't felt so great stomach-wise ever since. Blehk.

Oh and I'm not even too swollen. Well, I am swollen, but it's not too bad. I hope it stays down... does anyone know if it ever gets worse after it's better? I sure hope not.

2. Okay, so today was an inspiring day, photographically. And let me tell you why. See that quote over there --------------->? From Jasmine Star? Well she is a photographer and I just love her. Everything she does inspires me. Well guess what? She commented on my blog here yesterday. And I don't know how she even knows I exist! It made me so happy. Anyway, the point is that every day I get more and more excited about my photography business. Because it is going to be different than everyone else's. For one thing, I'm going to be better technically. (...I'm working on it, okay?) But for another thing, I have very specific ideas about running things a certain way with my clients. And Miss Jasmine Star inspires me that way. She has a way with people that makes her different. And I like it. And want to be like her.

So as things get rolling over the next couple months with photography and my website and everything, I'll tell you more, but for now, just know... I am going to be a little different. So you should keep your eye on me. :)

For now, here is what I finished editing today... lovely baby Peter Holmgren:

.on the second day of my summer vacation.

2009-05-06T06:50:00.001-06:00

I did a TON of fun wedding stuff.
I prepared for my surgical procedure that is happening today.

1. Okay, so yesterday was very productive, wedding-wise. I found the cutest shoes. I finalized all the plans for my cake. (It is going to be so cute!) And I picked up my dress. And I also did some secret things, which was pretty fun. :)

2. I have been forgetting about this for some reason, but today is the day I get my wisdom teeth out. Not really looking forward to it... but I am prepared. I supplied myself with applesauce, juice, broth, mashed potatoes, jello, and the like. AND also. I ate some pineapple. On the advice of my wonderful friend Whitney. It's supposed to reduce the swelling. When she got her wisdom teeth out, she ate pineapple the night before and didn't swell at all. So I ate as much as I could manage--at least until the acid started to hurt my taste buds.

I'm worried though about a couple things:

I really don't want it to hurt.
What if I die from the anesthesia? (it can totally happen...)
I couldn't eat after midnight last night... and I'm already hungry.
I don't want my face to swell up.
I want to get lots of things done this week... so I better heal REAL FAST. (Plus, Sarah's wedding is on Friday! I really would like to not be ugly for all those pictures we'll take.)
I don't want to be weird from the medication.

This last one is especially worrisome. Because... I like to be in complete control of myself. And on any sort of medication... I am not. And this is some serious medication I get today: Valium, intravenous anesthesia, Lortab... I'm worried my mind will go a little crazy. If I do, I already gave my mom permission to take a video of me so I can show Kenny and we can all have a good laugh together. Won't this be fun?

Anyway. I'm just anxious to get it over with. I wonder what will happen to me, because everyone has their own wisdom teeth story. ("I threw up blood!" "I got an infection and had to go to the hospital for weeks!" "A specialist didn't do mine and I was in intense pain for seven days!" "My cheeks swelled up to twice their size!" "I got paid $200 to do the study where they give you fake pain medication!" ....These are all true stories I've heard recently from people. Then they say, "Oh, but I'm sure yours will be fine!")

I'll let you know how it goes.

.on the first day of my summer vacation.

2009-05-05T09:11:00.003-06:00

I began organizing all (literally ALL) of my earthly possessions.
I saw Wolverine.

1. I have undertaken a project called Organize My Life. It has been a long time coming. Soooo... I have a lot of stuff. I took pictures of it all, but I'm afraid to show you. Maybe I will when the project is all done. But I decided that now that I have moved home to Centerville and will be switching rooms with my brother, the time has come to deal with it all.

So. As I moved all my things home from Logan, I placed it all in a pre-designated area of the basement. This included three carloads of stuff, plus my furniture. That's already a lot.

Then. I moved ALL my things from my upstairs room (closet stuff, two dressers worth of stuff, stuff stored under the bed...) to this area. It took like a jillion trips up and down the stairs.

(I still need to round up the rest of my odds and ends from my previous old bedroom from high school and the storage room.)

Then. I began. Organizing, sorting, bagging, trashing, labeling, boxing, DI-ing, etc. I have giant piles spreading throughout my entire basement. They are:

things I keep and use a lot
things to keep in boxes in my room
things to keep in tubs in the storage room
things to take to DI
things to throw in the garbage

So far, I threw away three giant bags of garbage, I have like six giant bags of DI stuff, and I have a ginormous pile of clothes I am going to sell to consignment places.

Oh it's so much fun. I love organization. The best part is that now, when I get married, I will only have to move things to my new home that I actually need and use. I am converting to a non-clutter keeper. There's actually a website for my kind here. YAY for uncluttering!

2. Now. To Wolverine. It was good if you enjoy lots of animalistic violence... I don't really. But Hugh Jackman is nice to look at. His wife lady is pretty also. So I guess there's something for everyone. If you are like me, just close your eyes for all the yucky parts.

The best part about yesterday was getting to see Kenny. It had been FORTY-EIGHT HOURS since we last were together. Traci and I met Kenny and Kyle at the Gateway and when they got there, Kenny ran REAL FAST right over to me and hugged and kissed me. Oh how I love that boy. Then we got to hold hands through the whole thing! And when it was too yucky, that boy covered my eyes for me. Man, I love him.

It was sad when the movie was over though because we had to separate again. :( And that is NO fun. But we had a nice goodbye, if you know what I mean.

Okay, so then I went to bed. But the problem is that if I go to bed after watching an intense show, my dreams are VERY intense. Nightmares, in fact. So not only did I spend two hours with raised blood pressure and clenched muscles actually watching the movie, but I spent the whole night like that too.

The dreams involved things like a killer looking for me at a rodeo on the BYU campus. And he had the gun with the special bullet that they use on Wolverine. He didn't get me though. Then there was this mutant that the bad African guy from 24 was trying to kill using that black smoke stuff from Lost. But this mutant survived the black smoke, which no one had ever done before.

Anyway, I woke up WAY stressed out. I was only too happy to get back to my real life.

So. Can you tell from ALL these many many words I've written today just how much I love and have missed my dear blog??

No need to fear, dear blog. I am back now.

More tomorrow.

.and.

2009-05-02T20:20:00.001-06:00

Oh and also... to all of you I need to call back, email back, or finish your pictures... it will happen this next week or so. :)

.overwhelmed.

2009-05-02T16:38:00.004-06:00

I'm sort of sad.

As I sit in Kenny's nearly empty apartment, I already miss the time I've spent here. I've been here more than my own apartment during the last five months and I'm going to miss it.

Lots of thoughts have been in my brain this week. I have a lot to say. But not right now. Because right now, I just feel overwhelmed. With everything.

This has been a crazy week. And today, everything changes. I move home. Kenny moves home. This summer will be so different than any other I've had. This week I've had too much on my mind. I need a few days to figure it all out.

So mostly, what I am saying is... I have lots to say, but not right now. Next week, when my new life starts to take place, I'll sit down and tell you all about it.

And for now... I will just say to you and to lovely Logan...

See you later.

.um, whoa.

2009-04-27T22:19:00.002-06:00

whoa. i am stressed out.

planning a wedding is HARD. okay so maybe not hard, but really really time-consuming and overwhelming.

this is the first time i've really started to panic a little... i know it will all work out and these little details aren't that big a deal, blah blah blah. but still.

whoa.

too much on my mind.

it might even explode.

.monica & oliver.

2009-04-23T22:25:00.004-06:00

these people makes me happy:

(to be married june the fifth)

.the weekend.

2009-04-20T18:29:00.002-06:00

So... running was not so bad. I ran the whole time (wow, I know, like a mile is so far) and Kenny said he was impressed. Which was good, because I don't like to disappoint that boy. The wedding is still on.

Saturday was a very nice day. I had two photo shoots and I learned a lot at both. AND I had a bridal shower! The first one! Oh it was so fun. Katie and my mom threw it for me and it was just wonderful. It felt so weird that people were just GIVING me stuff. And it was good stuff! I have the feeling that a lot of thanking is going to be in order for the next two months. OH AND Kenny and I went to see Monsters vs. Aliens, which happens to be the first movie we've ever ever gone to together.

Sunday was beautiful also. Full of sun. And Kenny's family came to visit. But later I accidentally got mad at Kenny while we played cards. Sometimes I hate that he always wins everything we ever play. And evidently I am immature enough to not be able to handle it. I am beginning to think we shouldn't play against each other ever.

Then today my brain stopped working for a bit. Work was difficult because I seemed to forget some important things about that job over the weekend. Tomorrow should be better.

That is all for now. Except I was going to show you the pictures I have been working on... but they won't upload. Maybe later. :)

Have a nice day.

.run.

2009-04-17T17:05:00.000-06:00

Today is the day Kenny has been waiting for.

I'm not sure if you know this or not, but Kenny is a runner. Like not just a runner, but a RUNNER. Nine miles every day kind of runner. Marathon kind of runner.

I'm not sure if you know this or not, but Kristin is not a runner. Like not just not a runner, but NOT a runner. Avoids it at just about all costs. Thinks real runners are sort of insane.

For a long time, Kenny has wanted Kristin to run with him. Not nine miles, just a couple. He really wants her to. But she has consistently refused, always worried he will think less of her once he sees this side of her. The non-runner side of her.

On March 18, Kenny was very persistent about it. Kristin finally gave in and said she would do it. But not that day. She said she would run with him in a month. (Because that would give her time to practice alone.) She also secretly hoped he would forget about it during the month.

Since that day, Kenny has occasionally reminded Kristin of The Day. April 18th. The Day Of The Run. He did not forget. She should have known.

And since tomorrow is a very busy day for Kristin (photo shoots and bridal showers and stuff), that makes today The Day.

It happens in one hour from now. Yes, after Kenny completes his regularly scheduled Nine Miler.

They will only be running one mile, which Kristin has previously mapped out (so there wouldn't be any big hills). She believes she can handle this. She also hopes it goes well and running with her fiance is more fun than she anticipates because wouldn't that be a great way to stay in shape now that she is not dancing? She thinks so.

Please wish her luck.

Update to follow.

.reasons i like my new job.

2009-04-15T16:22:00.003-06:00

Did you know I got a new job? Well I did. I quit the restaurant (phew) and now am employed at a pediatrician's office, where they are nice enough to let me come back in the fall. Yaaaay!

So I present to you, after 22 hours of working there so far...

Reasons I Like My New Job:

It is so nice and organized.
There is no food around.
No one is mean to me.
It's quiet and peaceful.
I can CHOOSE my outfit for the day. And it doesn't involve wearing a tie.
I know people there.
Katie works there.
Sometimes Jack comes.
There are cutie-pie kids that come.

Yay for Kristin's new job!

.taxing.

2009-04-14T23:54:00.000-06:00

Taxes are so silly.

I know this will shock you, but I always seem to wait to do them until April 14th. Like just now. I hurry and do them before midnight and then at the end, I remember they aren't actually due until midnight of the 15th. So I could've waited a whole nother day. (...oh and i know that nother is not a word...)

Anyway. So I just did them. And obviously, I do it online, because who uses paper these days? And mail? And stamps? Not I.

And for some reason, I always seem to have a problem. Today, I finished up the Utah one, only to find that I owed $22. Now that has never happened before. So I clicked on "Payment Options" which brought up a new window with a FATAL ERROR. Oh no.

I worked it all out, I think.

Want to know something funny slash kind of unbelievable? Kenneth has never done his own taxes. He just has the "family accountant" do it. I find this funny. Because next year, when we are married, I am going to make him do ours. Ha ha ha.

Anyway. Taxes are done. Now I can finally cross it off January's to-do list.

.spring.

2009-04-13T16:48:00.000-06:00

have i mentioned how much i love spring? well, i love it a lot. this is what i found at home this weekend:

...beautiful!

.life in motion.

2009-04-11T12:49:00.000-06:00

Here are some pictures (of ME) taken by my wonderful dad at my dance concert on Tuesday...

.64 days.

2009-04-10T22:30:00.000-06:00

today i've been thinking a lot about what will be happening in 64 days. in 64 days, i will be marrying kenneth brown. and know what? i can't wait. know what else? neither can he. :)

i drove home from logan today. as did kenny, only he went to his home in hoytsville. but we left at the exact same moment and followed each other on the freeway as far as we could. it was kind of cute.

speaking of which, there's this thing i have noticed with kenny. lately i feel like there's this gigantic magnet inside me that is drawn to this gigantic magnet in kenny. like i have to be with him. when i'm not, i feel like a really important part of me is missing. i think that's because a really important part of me is missing. kenny has become my life now. i love that.

and want to know a little secret??

i think he was made for me.

i sure love him.

.a beautiful day.

2009-04-08T01:21:00.004-06:00

today was beautiful.

the morning was spent taking pictures of pretty people.

the afternoon was spent with dancer friends.

the evening was spent performing dance.

the night was spent with my favorite people in the world.

nothing could be better.

.watch me.

2009-04-07T07:12:00.005-06:00

tonight...

at 7:30...

at ellen eccles theater...

is my dance show.

come!

(pictures taken last night at our dress rehearsal by chan chan!)

.giant papillary conjunctivitis.

2009-04-03T11:03:00.003-06:00

I am diseased.

I went to the eye doctor a couple days ago and he gave me the bad news. GIANT PAPILLARY CONJUNCTIVITIS. Sounds way scary huh??

Yeah. It means I have these little bumps on the inside of my eyelids that are trying to push my contacts out. My immune system thinks the contacts are foreign objects that don't belong and so it develops the little bumps to get rid of them. There's like 12-15 in my left eye and three in my right.

Want to hear the REALLY bad news? The only way to get rid of them is to not wear my contacts. For like six months. And even after that, I am only supposed to wear them for like 10 or 12 hours at a time.

Goodness. I love contacts. And I despise glasses.

That makes this very bad news.

So I told my mom that I have two options: 1) Buy new, cuter glasses than the ones I currently have. Or 2) Get laser eye surgery. I would much prefer to get Lasik, but I don't really have $3000 of disposable income to use on that....

New glasses it is. :(

.facebook.

2009-03-31T11:13:00.002-06:00

So... I think Facebook is stupid.

But I still have to check it, like every day.

What if someone writes on my wall? What if someone comments on a picture of me? What if someone comments on a picture I already commented on? What if someone has changed their relationship status? How will I know unless I don't get on and check??

I know, Facebook is a wonderful way to stay in touch with people from my long-lost past, whatever. But still...

The real problem is that I log on and the first thing I see is the homepage. The homepage is mostly what's stupid about Facebook. It's what really bugs me. Because here, I see all the status updates and conversations between my friends. And they are so stupid. I know this is harsh, but I have a really hard time caring about most of them. Because it's the ones that update every five minutes that have nothing to say. And that is all I see!

Oh it's just so silly. I'm going on a small Facebook strike, where I will only log on every few days. Maybe like once a week. And I'm also thinking of doing what Kenny did: a Facebook friends purge. He massively reduced his list so he only has friends he actually wants as friends. Interesting idea, huh?

Anyway. There is my Facebook rant. If you really really like Facebook and I just offended you, I'm sorry.

Sort of.

.letter #2.

2009-03-29T10:10:00.002-06:00

Dear Winter,

PLEASE. I am BEGGING of you, with every single freezing fiber of my being. GET OUT OF MY LIFE.

The simple truth of it is: I hate you. And I don't hate many things. But snow I hate. Cold temperatures I hate. Wearing coats I hate. Scraping ice off my car I hate.

Why is there no mercy? You've had MONTHS to do your thing this year. Plenty of time to have all of your torturous fun with us, but please, please, just let it end.

Every storm I think it is your last. We all do. But why, OH WHY, must you continue blizzarding? I looked out the window this morning, expecting the bright sunny temperatures of yesterday and was met with snow dumping down in every direction. And it's sticking to everything.

I want to cry. I want to curl up in a little ball and CRY. But I won't--because that is what I think you want.

Maybe one day, I will escape the wintery conditions of Logan, Utah. MAYBE I'll move to California.

Take that, Winter.

In anger,

Kristin Hoddenbach

.fortune.

2009-03-28T14:23:00.002-06:00

how do the chinese always know these things??

.one of those days.

2009-03-26T02:38:00.004-06:00

So today wasn't too fantastic.

It involved stress, bad dreams, to do lists, changes in plans, work at a job I do not enjoy, losing more money than I made at that job today (um, don't ask), unfortunate disagreements and miscommunications with people I love most, confusion, messed-up vision, unreturned phone calls, tummy-aches, spring blizzards, and a dentist appointment that is six hours away from this moment.

Tomorrow should be better.

.change of plans.

2009-03-25T12:42:00.003-06:00

Okay, so remember how I'm getting married?? And remember how I told you it was going to be August 1st??

Well, we decided that was way too far away. So now we are getting married in three weeks.

Just kiddin.

Saturday, June 13th is the new day. So there you go.

Save the date! :)

.monday's thoughts.

2009-03-23T10:02:00.004-06:00

First of all, I refuse to see the snow today. It doesn't exist to me. Today I am wearing spring clothes to stick it to the man.

Okay so last week was very strange--I was not quite myself. I am certain this is because of the medicine I've been on. So I stopped taking it today. I decided it wasn't worth it. It really was bad--I was so moody all of the time, extremely stressed, and very quick to be annoyed or angry with everyone around me, most especially Kenny, since I see him most. That poor boy has had as hard of a week as I have. I think I've cried the last four times we've been together over something ridiculous or something I couldn't really put my finger on. I've snapped at him a few times over something he was joking about and yesterday I sort of punched him in the stomach. (...this is NOT me...) So Kenny and I talked... and finally I decided that I am not dealing with this anymore (and I'm not going to make Kenny deal with it either!). I'll try a different medication or something, or not take it at all. It's stupid. So this is good news for me and everyone else in my life. :)

Also, last week I (okay, my mom) made a very important purchase. Called a wedding dress. And oh boy, it is beautiful. I may or may not have tried on over 40 dresses (literally) over the last month or so to find this one, but it was totally worth it. I love it with all my little heart. And yeah... Kenny can't see it, so I'm not going to tell you about it here. You will just have to wait like Kenny.

I went to my cabin on Saturday with my family, which was just wonderful as usual. I might post some pictures later. They pretty much center around Jack's new skill: waving. It's so stinking cute. He waves at everything, including the dog and his toys. Also, the cabin was great because we started lists and budgets for the wedding, a shower, and stuff like that.

Oh, it's just SO fun.

.shoot.

2009-03-19T19:33:00.002-06:00

I am getting all antsy. Because I am craving a photo shoot. It's been a while, because I haven't really wanted go out into the freezing winter weather to take pictures. But it's warm-ish now (spring begins tomorrow!), so if anyone would like to let me take their picture for zero dollars, I would just love to. Come on, friends, let's face it. You need a new profile picture for facebook, right? Or your blog? Or something? Plus I have some cool new ideas for portraits. So let's get going! Email me at kristinhoddenbach@mac.com if you would like to do this, okay? Okay. :)

.yup, still engaged.

2009-03-18T09:52:00.005-06:00

What to say...

How can I write a new blog entry after the thrilling entry that precedes this one? What can I say that is as interesting as my engagement??

Probably nothing.

So I'll just tell you a few things that have surprised me about being engaged:

I can't stop looking at my ring. It's so sparkly. Really, it sort of prevents me from accomplishing my daily tasks because I just catch a glimpse of it and then forget what I was doing. And sometimes I catch myself just smiling at it. I love it. Plus I love that Kenny picked it out all by himself. It's so much more personal that way.
I realized yesterday that I have a fiancé! I hadn't thought about that word yet. Wow, I'm such a grown-up.
I have this intense desire to tell the entire world about it. It is, after all, the most exciting event in my life up until now. I want to shove my left hand in everyone's faces and tell them all about it. Luckily, I haven't done that too often.
Oh and people are so nice! All these people congratulated me here and on facebook. Some on facebook I haven't spoken to for years. Nice of you all to take a second and let me bask in your compliments and congratulations! How kind you all are.

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Being engaged is fun!

.you and i.

2009-03-15T23:58:00.007-06:00

this is kenny and kristin. they are madly in love. i'm sure you know this.

but did you know this???

i do believe that is a ring on her finger!!

oh it is! tonight kenny asked kristin to marry him. of course she said yes.

i am engaged, people!!

i love this kenny more than i ever imagined i could love someone. and he loves me more than i ever imagined i could be loved. i knew from date #3 that we would be married, but i still can't believe my darn good luck that i get kenny forever.

but then, i don't believe in luck.

kenny is a blessing, pure and simple. the greatest blessing i've ever received. i don't deserve him in many ways, but i get to keep him anyway.

i pray every day in deep gratitude for the blessing that is kenny. i pray every day that i will become better so i can be everything to him that he is to me.

maybe by august 1st, i will be a little bit closer.

hey, want to come to our wedding that day??

i am so happy.

.picture.

2009-03-14T07:28:00.001-06:00

okay so this isn't the picture i was going to show you yesterday, but here is a beautiful picture my dad took of mr. kenny and miss kristin in mexico.

.a story.

2009-03-13T10:13:00.004-06:00

Happy Friday the 13th, all.

Here is the story of my day so far:

I was up very late last night with Kenny at the Capitol in Salt Lake. It was the last day of the Legislative session so we hung out around there for a while. Kenny took me on a little tour of that beautiful place and taught me all about our state government. :)

So I went to bed, knowing full well that I would need to be back in Logan at 8:15 in the morning to work a shift at the bank (remember how I'm still an on-call teller there?). So... I set three alarms.

I heard them all... I turned them all off. I was just so comfortable and warm and sleepy. I wasn't thinking clearly. My mom woke me up an hour before I was supposed to be at work. Oh and the drive is an hour and 15 minutes. So I darted out the door within five minutes, saying goodbye to a sleeping Kenny on my couch. My car was frozen over. I had to get gas. I hurried so fast, people!

Turns out I got to work at 8:24. I think that's pretty remarkable. And really, I just had to be ready to teller at 8:30 when we open, which I totally was. I am rad.

Who cares that I am wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday. And the same makeup, for that matter. Plus I didn't eat breakfast so my diet for the next few hours can only consist of frootie tootsie rolls and popcorn. Blehk.

Anyway, I'm driving straight back to Centerville at 1:00. Haircuts and baby showers await. Then back to Logan tomorrow afternoon for the other job... hmmm... I just hate when my life is controlled by work schedules. Not for long, though!

That's all I have to say, really. Oh and if you check back later today, you may get to see a very cute picture of Kenny and I from yesterday... just fyi.

:)

.mexico part dos.

2009-03-11T16:19:00.007-06:00

Eventful happenings from the Baja....

Kenny and Kristin flew.

Kenny very much liked co-piloting.

We canoed out to some whales in the harbor at Alfonsina's. (I know, I look like a retard.)

A gigantic humpback whale was splashing all around and whacking his tail on the water over and over. It sounded like a gunshot every time it smacked against the water.

It was pretty amazing. We were only like 30 yards away.

We saw a lot of starfish.

And pretty clouds.

We hiked to this lighthouse and climbed up it.

There was like a jillion rocks on this island we canoed out to. These ones were BIG.

These ones were not as big.

Here I am hiking. (More like balancing on all the rocks.)

The view from the top of the lighthouse.

This is a dead puffer fish we found. COOL.

The children built sand sculptures.

Dustin created a cat. That is a cigarette in his mouth.

Kenny created a cathedral. That is a cross on the front. He was very proud.

He also got a sad sunburn. Here is his peeling nose.

We watched a lot of beautiful sunrises.

This is sleepy Kenny.

And Kenny and Kristin said goodbye to the beach. What a wonderful trip.

The end.

.the point.

2009-03-10T12:02:00.004-06:00

I'm afraid of death.

Not for myself. No... I'm actually looking forward to that in seventy or so years.

I'm afraid of the deaths of people I love.

Last night, I watched three Grey's Anatomy episodes. (Kenny isn't here--what else am I supposed to do??) And I cried and cried, as is my usual behavior when watching that show. I know the show is fictional. Whatever. But when things happen on it that are a little too real-life... or a little too "could happen to me..." it definitely affects me.

As I was watching it, I felt so much fear of something happening to someone I love. Horrible things happen to people every day. It's just not usually me.... But I know I'm not exempt from anything and the fear that something WILL happen to someone I love most just became overwhelming to me last night. The worst things that could happen in my life are things that are completely out of my control.

Then I had one of the worst dreams I've had in a long time, falling along the same lines as these fears. I woke up in tears and had to call my mom to let her calm me down a little and assure me that everything was fine.

I know there's a plan.... I know whatever happens, I will make it through it.... But still. I worry. I can't control most things and I dread the day when I'll have to deal with hard things happening.

So... life IS hard sometimes. But most times, it's not. Most of our lives, we live without quite realizing how lucky we are to have the people we have around. So for the people I have around: I love you. I'm so glad I have you. When you have to leave me someday, or when I have to leave you, I will be sad... but okay eventually when I see you again.

Because I will.

And that is the point.

.whine.

2009-03-09T15:09:00.002-06:00

In the last 24 hours, I:

drove to Hoytsville and back
got peed on by a dog
had a dream about nasty white spiders getting in my mouth and throat
watched and nearly cried as a foot+ of snow fell
said goodbye to Kenny for another couple of days

I know I'm a baby, but that last one was the worst of all!

.mexico part uno.

2009-03-05T19:42:00.001-07:00

Because I KNOW you all can't wait another second to hear me talk about Mexico... here are some of my favorite pictures from the trip.

this is my studly father:

runway sign:

kenneth took this one:

this is in the reflection on the propellor:

mr. dustin:

my dad:

kristin and kenny watching the sunrise:

does this picture look familiar? this one is 2009:

and this one was from last year. i love my dad.

.back.

2009-03-03T17:10:00.003-07:00

Hello.

I have returned.

Mexico was lovely. I, of course, will give you a nice update tomorrow when I am feeling up to it.

For now, I would like to tell you the nice things that have happened since my return.

52 degrees is the current temperature here in Logan, Utah. The difference from Mexico was still about a 20 degree drop, but that is much more acceptable than the expected 50. It seems as though winter is defeated!
Speaking of which, the path from my door to Kenny's is free (FINALLY) of snow and ice. I couldn't be happier.
My car's heater was fixed while I was gone! Yay! You can all thank me for the end of winter because I KNEW that as soon as my heater was finally fixed I wouldn't need it anymore.
After my phone being left unused for a week, it refused to work when I turned it back on. As annoying as that was, it allowed me to have an excuse to go get the new phone I have been wanting. DOUBLE YAY. I have waited SO long for this day! That thing is just fabulous.
I got a little tan. My skin is peeling a bit from that tan, which is... not so nice.
Kenny got himself a little tan too. And that poor boy is peeling more than me.
Today was spent catching up from being gone for a week. And now that I am home, I have decided to make some changes in my life. Mexico taught me some things that I need to remember. I will tell you more about that later too.

That's pretty much all. I love this Mexico trip with every fiber of my being...

but it is nice to be home.

.where is kristin?.

2009-02-24T09:04:00.003-07:00

Oh right... she's in Mexico...!

Enjoy the photographic scenery while I enjoy it in person.

See you next week!

.what i need.

2009-02-23T09:40:00.003-07:00

I did that thing where you type "[your name] needs" into Google to see what comes up. Here is what Kristin needs:

Kristin needs to be in a plastic bubble.
Kristin needs to remember to go to the how-to session on sexual harassment today.
Kristin needs to show off more than her legs.
Kristin needs a good haircut to tame that wild-ass hair.
Kristin needs to re-program herself and get her weight under control before her biological clock runs out.
Kristin needs to have some type of autograph show or something where she could meet her fans.
Kristin needs to take a break.
Kristin needs to get over her 15 minutes--the only reason she is famous is for sleeping with famous guys... that is all she does.
Kristin needs her own talk show.
Kristin needs to be working hard to bring me back to the ranch.
Kristin needs to stop her borderline stalker obsession with Jessica. It's creepy.
Kristin needs to learn to care about others, not that I hate her, but she really cares more about herself than she does others.
Kristin needs to buy a yellow dress.
Kristin needs to get regular exercise, eat healthfully, get plenty of rest, and especially avoid activities and people who dissipate and waste her time.
Kristin needs to be slapped for that.

.letter.

2009-02-20T11:53:00.000-07:00

Dear Summer,

I miss you. It's been so long since we have met that I'm not sure I remember how things were when we last were together.

Winter and I have been seeing a lot of each other. Too much, in fact. To tell you the truth, I've had enough. Winter is just so harsh and unforgiving. It is cold, mean, and dangerous. I don't mind it being around for like a month, you know, for Christmas, but it continually and perpetually overstays its welcome every year.

Yesterday, when I awoke, I saw sunlight streaming in from the living room window and it looked just like you had arrived. I let myself believe it was true for just a moment. And what a glorious moment it was. But it ended much too soon when I opened the blinds to reveal what is still a wintry world.

Oh my dear Summer, I want so much to be with you. I want to wear short-sleeves and flip-flops and the capris I bought yesterday. I want to go to the lake and go jet-skiing. I want to see my beautiful cabin in the summertime. I want a tan. I want to open my window and let the sunshine and warm breeze in. I want to nap in the park on the grass on a Sunday afternoon while the sun warms up my face. Summer, please come back to me!

Here's an idea! Why don't I come to visit you? You are taking up residence in the Mexican Baja this time of year, aren't you? Yes? Oh joy! I shall fly there post-haste. Next week! I will stay for the entire week and you can warm me and make me forget the pains of Winter that reside here in the Utah arctic.

Summer, I am on my way! This trip will tide me over until you at last come back to me here and shove away the chilly temperatures of Winter.

I can't wait to be with you once again. I will meet you in Mexico!

Love,

Kristin

.this moment.

2009-02-18T22:04:00.004-07:00

sometimes,

life seems like a blur.

i noticed today, as i perused pictures of my past, that what happened perhaps two years ago feels like it happened... perhaps a month ago.

that is okay. because i am always looking forward to the future, waiting for my next thrilling adventure. sometimes, though, i look too much to the future and forget to take pleasure in the present.

i have learned something:

life is not really about the things we may think it is. it is not about work. or school. or money. or all the things we do to fill up our days. those things are important, yes. but i think,

life is about moments.

moments we share with people we love. moments we share with god. moments we share with just ourselves.

so i say,

forget about the big picture sometimes--forget about everything you should get done today and this week and this year... forget about stress and the future and problems...

and enjoy this moment. this one.

and maybe next time you are with a person you love,

or feeling sun on your skin,

or receiving a little bit of inspiration from god,

or eating a delicious treat,

or hearing i love you from the person you love most,

stop and just think for a second. you are so lucky. you are so blessed.

be happy, even if just for that one little moment.

and enjoy it.

because life is made up of lots of little moments. and when your day is done, you will remember those ones. the ones you enjoyed.

.some ado about nothing.

2009-02-17T19:08:00.000-07:00

Isn't this cute? Heart shaped pancakes are a must for a Valentine's breakfast.
As is being with this cute boy. And his roommate, Kyle. That is Kyle's arm you can see.

Anyway. Today has included:

Falling on the way home from dance. The sidewalks were insanely slippery with all this crap snow. It took all of my concentration for each step I took. After I fell, I wanted to cry and then I cursed Logan.
Listening to Juno (not of my own accord) from my bedroom while the roommates watched it. I kind of hate that show.
Inspiration for photography--I can't wait for the weather to be good so I can finally start shooting outside again.
Working on the dance I'm choreographing for our show in April... It is set to the cover of "Blackbird" on the Across the Universe soundtrack. It is a pretty song and all, but it turns out that the dance works better with AFI's "Prelude 12,21." This is only funny if you know what AFI sounds like.
Coveting clothing online from Anthropologie. I wish I could dress like that. One day when I'm rich... I will.
Spending a significant amount of time researching other things online--but that is a secret for now.
Thinking about Kenny and patiently waiting for him to finish studying so he can spice up my evening.

Did you know I love that Kenny?

.♥.

2009-02-14T13:38:00.003-07:00

Did you know that today is Valentine's Day? It is true.

Since I had to work last night and tonight, mine and Kenny's Valentine's Day was from 10:30 last night until 12:30 today.

It was wonderful.

I will tell you all about it later, but for now, you should just know that Kenny is such a cutie. Just like the best boyfriend ever.

I love him.

To all of you, my dear friends, have a nice love day!

.poisonous gaseous gas.

2009-02-13T10:42:00.006-07:00

I've been watching 24. And I think we all know how much I love that show. And I think we all know how I feel about Jack Bauer.

Anyway. Yesterday, Kenny and I watched the episode from this season where Jack gasses out the prime minister of Sangala and his wife from the safe room (WHY did that woman open the door?? Sacrifice for your country, woman!!) with household cleaners mixed together to form a poisonous gaseous... gas. You know. Then he feeds it through the ventilation system, blah blah blah.

Anyway. I dreamed last night that I got gassed out of my house. But it was a different house that I've never seen before and it was huge. Oh and also, my house was right behind Stephanie Nielsen's house. (Wouldn't she be the BEST neighbor?) It got all foggy all throughout, except for in the American Eagle store we had in the downstairs area. That area was fine.

So I was upstairs in the kitchen that was on the fourth or fifth floor and had to jump out the window to save myself from the fumes. There were three others up there with me and one man jumped out first and landed on some rocks below--I think he's okay though. Then I was going to go but got too scared. So this other lady went. When she landed on the ground, she also did some back handsprings to spice up her landing. I was all, ".....I can't do that...." Then me and the other guy were left. We decided to just run downstairs and go out the front door by the American Eagle. Which we did.

That's pretty much all I can remember...

.it's so late.

2009-02-13T00:34:00.004-07:00

What a weird evening.

I went over to Katie's tonight so we could be crafty together. We were making Valentines. But see... Katie is a major scrapbooker. One of those. And I am not. Not scrappy at all. But sometimes, I get these waves of inspiration--ideas of things I should create. And sometimes I do them, but they never seem to turn out like I think. And then I get carried away. And I make things too difficult. And sometimes I just end up throwing away the project or re-doing it or leaving it the ugly way it is and hating it. Tonight... it was the usual. Good idea... bad follow through.

Anyway, while at Katie and Dustin's, Dustin not only insulted my blog and I (ouch), but also hid my shoe. HID my shoe. Just one. Oh and remember, Dustin is 26 years of age.

Katie found it perched on top of a picture frame upstairs.

When I left to go home, the world was all cold and spooky and foggy. Like the thick kind of fog that dementors come out in. Or murderers. I had to sing a hymn to myself on the walk to the car so I wouldn't be so scared.

Here's something I bet you didn't know. All I've eaten today is: rolls, a peanut butter sandwich made by Kenneth, and Pasta Roni. Oh hey. If you ever make Pasta Roni, don't do the last step in the directions called "let pasta set for 3 to 5 minutes after cooking" because the pasta just gets all hard and nasty. I learned that today. Just you know... fyi....

It's a weird day. Can you tell? Time for bed, I believe. See you in the morning.